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Other Slogans Starbucks Considered Writing on Cups Before “Race Together”

25 Mar

March 25, 2015

1- Want a scone with this, Whitey?

2- This is crazy, but here’s my number, so call me maybe?

3- Go Sox

4- Draw a funny mustache on this picture of a Republican

The_Subsidised_Mineowner

5- This is Starbucks. Why are we talking about race when this store is 90% white hipsters? Let’s talk skinny jeans instead.

 

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Observational Ketchup

13 Mar

March 13, 2015

At the risk of sounding like a hack observational comedian, I have some questions.

Who decided the size of ketchup packets? There’s not nearly enough in one for your French fries, let alone a hamburger. And mustard packs are even worse- it takes at least three to cover any self-respecting hot dog. Yet mayo packets are larger than either one. Who decided that you should get more mayo than ketchup, and nearly no mustard?

Don’t even get me started on relish.

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