Late Night Movie House of Crap: Totino’s Pizza Rolls

4 Jul

July 4, 2012

You can’t get away from commercials at the movies and this is no exception.

This is the stupidest commercial I ever saw. And that is saying a lot because I have seen way too much tv in my life. I am not sure what the premise is or who the target audience is. Watch the commercial and we’ll discuss later.

These are the dumbest kids in the world. The pizza rolls are RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM. I have to believe that the ad is targeted to parents, parents who think their kids are too stupid to tie their own shoes. Did these kids ride the little bus home? Is their underwear labeled “this side front”? And I hope you caught that the one on the left put the cell phone in the freezer. Every time I see that ad I want to smack those kids. (Especially the one on the right whose facial expressions seem to range from “wood” to “stone.”) Is that harsh? No, it is not harsh enough. Let’s follow this to the logical conclusion. They can’t see the package in front of them (either that or they can’t read), they leave the phone in the freezer, yet we are supposed to believe they can use the microwave without it blowing up? Not me, I call shenanigans on this dopey ad.

And for the record, pizza rolls come out wet and mushy from the microwave.


4 Responses to “Late Night Movie House of Crap: Totino’s Pizza Rolls”

  1. Thomas Stazyk July 4, 2012 at 2:19 am #

    One of the reasons I don’t like going to movies is the commercials. I’m paying to see the movie, why do I have to watch commercials. At least at home I can mute, fast forward or go to the bathroom.

    And yes, that commercial belongs in the hall of fame of stupid commercials. but it’s worse than stupid. As you say, it sends a message about stupid kids, but also raises some societal issues. The kids say “Mom, we’re dying.” Because they haven’t eaten anything in what, maybe an hour or two? Aside from insulting about a billion starving people it also says those kids are obsesity candidates. And who (speaking of the mother) knows exactly where everything is in the freezer in case their kids are too dumb to find it if it’s right in front of them?


  2. Jimbo July 4, 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    Nothing better than Totino’s Pizza Rolls and a frozen telephone later on, when you discover your severely brain-damaged 12 year-old child left it in the freezer while having the munchies.


  3. on thehomefrontandbeyond July 4, 2012 at 8:59 pm #

    this is so true – I always thought the kids were a little, shall we say it, dull, but your analysis really makes me laugh


    • bmj2k July 4, 2012 at 10:31 pm #

      I appreciate that. Those kids are just some odd ad company version of average teens.


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