SQUEEE! New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys to Tour Together!

12 Nov

November 12, 2010

OMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD! IT! IS! HAPPENING! The New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys are going to tour together! SQUEEEE!

This goes in my glitter-covered scrapbook!

Jeez. This is like the coming together of some kind of pop-culture nexus that is going to attract a lot of divorced 30-40 year old housewives, and that can’t be good. Thank God N-SYNC isn’t a part of this or the world might collapse into a bad music black hole.

OK, look, these “kids” and “boys” are all older than 30 and three of them are over 40. To put that in perspective, the Simpsons has been on the air for 22 years, and Gunsmoke, the former longest running show, was on the air for 20 years, so Marshall Matt Dillon (James Arness, who died in 1994) and Monty Burns have more right to be called “kids” and “boys” than these geriatric adolescents.

To tell the truth, I always thought these bands were all just the same guys over and over anyway. It seems like they just cloned some random kid with goofy a hair style and funny facial hair to fill out all those boy bands. Now they all have thinning hair and worry about their prostates.

If you are like me, this news doesn’t come as a shock. In fact, it doesn’t come as anything at all since I didn’t care back when they were big and I don’t care now that some of them are working in a car wash. Were Led Zeppelin touring with AC/DC I’d care. I’d care so much that, the Hell with writing this blog, I’m standing on line for tickets three weeks early.

I was however, curious about Kevin Richardson, whom the article pointedly says won’t be part of the tour. I looked him up on Wikipedia (their motto- “Sometimes we get one right.”) and found this in the entry:

In June 2006, Richardson left the Backstreet Boys to pursue other interests and “move on with the next chapter of [his] life.”

The group has not ruled out a return for the singer.

I’m guessing it has now been ruled out.

17 Responses to “SQUEEE! New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys to Tour Together!”

  1. JRD Skinner November 12, 2010 at 10:50 am #

    I can’t help but feel bad about all of this, but it only gets worse when I imagine Kevin Richardson making a surprise entrance, a third of the way into the tour, to a rising howl of wine-soggy shrieking.

    Like

  2. Thomas Stazyk November 12, 2010 at 2:21 pm #

    This is horrible.

    They could at least have the decency to not call themselves “kids,” and “boys.”

    Like

    • bmj2k November 12, 2010 at 3:08 pm #

      Coming soon: The Middle-Aged Gents Tour.

      Like

      • Thomas Stazyk November 12, 2010 at 4:02 pm #

        That’s more like it.

        I have a conspiracy theory. This tour was organized by the makers of Prozac because they figure what when all those 40 something divorcees see their teen idols with receding hairlines and pot bellies the realization that reality actually exists will send them screaming to their psychiatrists!

        Like

        • bmj2k November 12, 2010 at 6:00 pm #

          This song makes your point nicely:

          Like

  3. Thomas Stazyk November 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm #

    I love it–those guys are great. The Robert Palmer video parody was my favorite part.

    Like

    • bmj2k November 12, 2010 at 6:25 pm #

      I’ve had the song on my iPod for ages, but this was the first time I saw the video. I think the Palmer part was my favorite too.

      Like

  4. Allen Keyes November 12, 2010 at 9:55 pm #

    First of all, unless MENUDO is the opener, I want no part of this. I’d rather see Tiffany and Justin Bieber sing show tune duets.

    ” Were Led Zeppelin touring with AC/DC I’d care. I’d care so much that, the Hell with writing this blog, I’m standing on line for tickets three weeks early.”

    I’d just buy tickets to something else at the venue a few weeks early and hide in the ductwork until concert time came for those two.

    Like

    • JRD Skinner November 18, 2010 at 10:57 am #

      Dang, I hadn’t read this till just now, but apparently this article got us both thinking about Menudo.

      Like

      • bmj2k November 18, 2010 at 2:00 pm #

        That can’t be good.

        Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. You Again? « skinner.fm::blog of fiction - November 18, 2010

    […] items are from today’s front page. They forgot the punctuation on this one, but my guess is, based on the recent reunions of both The Backstreet Boys and The New Kids On The Block, and the depressed look on these […]

    Like

  2. Middle-Aged Men on the Block « Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride - January 1, 2011

    […] 90′s pop jokes New Kids on the Block teamed up with another washed up has-been group, The Backstreet Boys, to form the alphabet-insulting “super group” NKONTBSB. […]

    Like

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