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Coconut

14 Nov

from March 1, 2008

This morning I had the opportunity to have a bun for breakfast. I had already eaten so I declined. However, even had I not eaten, I still would have turned it down. It had coconut in it.

No. I’m not allergic to coconut. I just don’t like it. I don’t recall the last time I had anything with coconut, I’ve hated it since I was a kid. But that got me thinking: do I still hate coconut?

My tastes have changed over the years. For example, I used to love baloney (or bologna, if you prefer.) I ate it all the time. But when I got older I was turned off by the fact that it was squishy. There is something very, very wrong with squishy meat. (I was also turned off when I found out just what went into baloney, but I got over it fast. After all, I know what’s in hot dogs and I still eat them. I think a small dose of cow lips, feces, and insecticide can be good for you.) Today I won’t touch baloney. It doesn’t taste good anymore.

So I wonder if I still dislike coconut. (Or cocoanut, if you prefer. And what is it with foods that have two spellings? If steak could also be spelled “steeke” would I hate it too? Is it some vestige of the English teacher in me that turns me against doubly-named foods? But I digress. As usual.)

It has been so long since I had coconut that I can’t remember what it tastes like. So maybe I would like it now if I tried it. But since I “know” that I hate coconut I am hesitant to have some. I might go out and buy a Mounds bar later and see. (Almond Joy has nuts, Mounds don’t, right? So it is Mounds with coconut?)

I do like the Marx Brothers movie The Cocoanuts and I know that if I ever get stuck on a desert island I’d have nothing but coconuts to eat, so maybe I should give it a try.

I’ll keep you posted.

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BTW- what a boring blog. This is the type of nonsense that the net is full of.

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A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO CLAY AIKEN

14 Nov

from February 29, 2008

A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO CLAY AIKEN
FROM THE EDITORIAL STAFF OF
MR. BLOG’S TEPID RIDE

We at Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (“Home of the Nearly OK Blog”) have always striven to give you, the consumer and avid reader, a high-quality and entertaining product.

Whether it is the musings of our foreign policy advisor “Mr. Know-It-All,” (Bruce E. Freedkin) or the helpful kitchen hints of Breakfast Betty, the editorial staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride has always been satisfied with the level of wholesome morality presented under our banner.

However, we feel that the recent posting by “Ace Rocker: DAMAGED SATELLITE” did not meet our rigorous journalistic standards. In fact, the latest blog concerning Mr. Clay Aiken has generated a large volume of mail, all of it negative, and it reinforces our position that certain statements and inferences contained therein must be addressed.

It should, however, be admitted that “Ace Rocker” made certain valid points. While it is true that Mr. Aiken has not released an album of late, nor has he toured or even sang at a relative’s birthday party, it was scurrilous at best to imply that he has been “tapping his foot in a men’s room.” While allegations about Mr. Aiken’s sexuality have been circulated for years, and numerous men have made allegations of late night encounters, and dozens of pictures of Mr. Aiken have appeared online apparently and graphically showing Mr. Aiken engaged in homosexual acts with several masked cowboys, it is not and will not be the place of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride to further any rumors or pass idle gossip along to the reading public. We thrive upon the trust of the people.

The Editors, staff, and writers of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride all join in apologizing herewith, and publicly, to Mr. Aiken, his life partner, his assless leather chap-wearing friends, and the public, for the blog posted under the byline of “Ace Rocker.”

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