Archive | 4:27 pm

The Best Regents Exam Ever!

13 Nov

from January 29, 2008

Most of you are familiar with the NY State Regent’s Exams so I will not go into it in much detail. The students are required to write four essays and do some multiple choice questions. What follows is unaltered and unedited. It is simply the best Regent’s Exam ever! (Liz, back me up on this or no one will believe me!)

I came to new york few years ago. I am learning english now. I don’t have kids or wife because I am 17 year old. I like to use computer a lot and listen to MP3. One month ago I ask my brother for MP3 and he hide it. I say please brother and he no give it to me. Then he came to me and say give my mp3 player back. I say I no say please to no body in my life, then after 1 week I gave him his mp3 player back. You are cute or beautiful person. Please pass me because I no speak english. Please. I forgot to study. I will study next time. I am beging u. please me this test. Please.

           Me no english.

Thank u for marking me passing this test. I will pray for you now. I don’t usually tell this to people. I am a prophet. I will pray a lot for you. 

That was essay one. This is what he wrote for each of the remaining three:

I no speak english. Please pass me this test. I am prophet and I will pray for who ever is helping me pass this test.

What else could I do? Sixes across the board! YES! A prophet is praying for me! Who cares if an Islamic prophet is praying for this Jew? I have been blessed!

But seriously, this kid came on both days. Yes, after the tragedy that was day one he came back for day two. And his multiple choice answers, which should have been numbered “1,” “2,” etc, were lettered “A,”” “B'” “C,”” and so on.

BTW- this kid speaks very good English.

Final Score: 01.

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Heath Ledger

13 Nov

from January 23, 2008

Everybody is talking about Heath Ledger.

Remember when Heath Ledger brought food and medicine to Katrina victims?
Remember when Heath Ledger helped end poverty?
Remember when Heath Ledger found the cure for cancer?

Neither do I.

Heath Ledger died yesterday.

A tragedy for his young daughter and the rest of his family, to be sure.

A loss to the film world? Debatable, but he had fans.
Best known as one of the cowboys in Brokeback Mountain, Ledger was poised for breakout success in this summer’s The Dark Knight, the latest Batman film, where he played the Joker.

Yes, he was an actor.
And an actor with a short body of work at that.

To be true, there seemed to be no one with a bad word about him.

By all accounts he was a nice guy and a good father.
And it is always a loss when a good man dies.

But he was an actor.

Brad Renfro died last week too.

Newscasts broke into daytime talk shows with special reports.
Newspapers had special wrap-around sections.
Camera crews staked out the building where he died.
Flowers and candles seemed to grow out of the air around his building’s front entrance.
He’s bigger news now than when he was alive.

Everyone is wondering if it was drugs.
Everyone knows how he was found naked by his masseuse.
Everyone has a theory.

How terrible it is to die young.
How terrible it is to be famous.
How terrible it is to be in the spotlight.

Heath Ledger was not a construction worker.
He was not a firefighter or a policeman.
He was not a teacher or a doctor.
He did not die in Iraq.
He did not save a life.
He did not cure the ill.
He did not maketh the crippled to walk nor the dead to rise.

He was an actor.

He played parts in movies.
He was a cowboy in a cowboy movie.
He was a patriot in a patriot movie.
He was a knight in a knight movie..

Sad that only now does he find his biggest audience.
Sadder still that we devote so much time to his life and so little to things that really matter.

Can you name five Presidential candidates?
Can you name five of your children’s teachers?
When did you reach out to someone in need?

Heath Ledger died yesterday.

Naked and alone and surrounded by drugs.

He left behind a young daughter.

His parents outlived him.

He was an actor.

Life goes on.

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