Archive | 10:39 pm

Found this in my inbox.

9 Nov

from December 7, 2006
NOTE- my screen name was Barry Horton Heat

This was in my inbox tonight. My first fan letter!

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12-6-06

Dear “Barry Horton Heat”

            Hello. First off to begin, I found this “profile” because I did a search for music and came across YOU. I don’t believe your name is “Barry Horton Heat” because that is not your name. That is the name of a music person, and that is not you. You are NOT REVEREND Horton Heat. But to be fair you didn’t post any of his music so I won’t report you.

            I also think you are also a LIAR in some other ways. You couldn’t have been “the WARDEN OF RIKER’S ISLAND PRISONERS” because I just don’t believe that. I saw your “so-called” picture and you don’t even show no picture of your face. Don’t you have pride in your face????? I think “the WARDEN OF RIKERS ISLAND PRISONERS” would have to show his face so the prisoners there would know who he is. So you are not him. And don’t get me started about why you could not possibly even be “TRUCKER NORM, WRESTLER OF GEORGIA”

            You are such a LIAR. I read your “so-called” “blog” with a lot of interest. Not because I think it is all true but because you have a very dirty mouth. I watched “Superman Returns” too and I liked them alot more then you and I didn’t see anything gay in it. What are you seeing? GAY?? I think there was a lot of stupid stuff like telling people that they aren’t good or should DRINK or SEX STUFF. And you say that you give advice to teen children? Who said you could do that? I don’t think they should be allowed to look at what you say they should do because it comes from a LIAR and also from someone who isn’t honest either enough to use his real name only “Barry HOROTN HEAT.” Anyone who tells stuff to kids should be a honest person not a LIAR like you have been proved to be one by me.

            You have a lot of pictures and you show your, or should I say, “a” face there. Is that you? What were you doing in France? IF you are not even an PATRIOTIC AMErican then maybe you should get off this American web site. If you really do come from America as you say- MASSACHUSETS LEMURIA then you should have a link to someplace to say good things about our troops as they are FIGHTING THE WAR SO YOU CAN BE FREE AND NOT FIGHT IT YOURSELF! Do you want to fight the WAR yourself?? I don’t think so. USA! USA! GO TROOPS! GO FIGHTERS FOR FREEDOM!

            I like the song you play one your “homepage.” IS it on a CD?

            This is why I think you only have only 5 friends. You are a LIAR and NOT HONEST. You are NOT REALLY an AMerican and you tell people and the kids bad stuff advice to do. Thats just mean. You are mean. And one of your “so-called” “friends” is really an ad to by a CD by someone. How can an ad be a friend? SO you only have 4 friends really. MORE DISHONESTY!! AND your “so-called” “friends” use dirty words like w**** and S*** on your “homepage”.   KIDS might come here and READ this!!

            I will pray for you and keep you in my prayers when I do my prayers at night. You NEED IT.

SINCERELY,

Marshall Dwayne Dufresne

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untitled- UPDATE!

9 Nov

from November 29, 2006, based on a blog from November 28, 2006

Since I posted the last blog, I’ve done a lot of soul searching. I didn’t find one, but I did come to a conclusion. Remember the situation with a colleague, where I felt bad about something I did?

Well, wait for it…………… He’s a dick. Screw him.

Hey- as I posted a category for this blog, I saw for the first time that there is a category for “Dreams and the Supernatural.” If you read my profile, you know that I’m a paranormal investigator. (Did you read my profile? Bet you did not.) So I will soon start to post the bone-chilling details of my investigations into the Lovecraftian horrors (Literary reference alert!) that I contend with on a daily basis. However, I realize that this is a very serious situation, so to avoid any suspense that may interfere with the digestion of your dinner, (macaroni and cheese?), I will tell you beforehand that I am safe and unharmed. (OK, so that was not really suspenseful. What can I say? I’m not a mystery writer, you know.)

I had a good time today. During one of my classes, the kids were doing a vocabulary assignment when they started throwing words out of the dictionary at me. (Have you ever been hit by a word thrown out of the dictionary? Sounds like something from Roald Dahl’s The Phantom Tollbooth. Ever read that book? No? Then stop reading this drek and go out and get it. It’s a kids book but I love it. (Then again, I also love Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla, so what do I know? Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo never worked again, and deservedly so. (How do I know all of this esoteric crap? ‘Cause I am full of this nonsense. Go ahead- ask me what Lionell Atwill’s greatest film performance of the 1930’s was? (It was in 1933’s The Vampire Bat where he masterfully portrayed Dr. Otto von Niemann.) On second thought, don’t ask.) Wait- I have another parenthesis to close. Go back and check. Here it is- )

Where was I? Hmmmm……. Screw him…….. paranormal investigator………. drek…….. oh, dictionaries. (See how these things go? And if Faulkner wrote this he’d be a genius.) So they started throwing words at me (have you ever been hit by- oh no, not again.) to see if I knew the meanings. I KNEW EVERY SINGLE WORD. I am the smartest teacher in the world! How can I parlay this into money? I can’t.

In my last blog, I may have been a bit silly and said some nice things about some of my friends. Oh that wicked alcohol! I was so wasted! Well, I’m going to wrap this up with a quote by Mr. Know-It-All (how come we never see Mr. Blog and Mr. Know-It-All in the same place at the same time? Quiet you. (“Yes Mr. Peabody.”) (This Superman line was last quoted in my blog of Saturday November 4th. Go back and see!) Oop- another darn parenthesis to close- ) This is quick becoming my most disjointed blog ever. I’ll have to work on that. Making it more disjointed, I mean. Look, if I have to work to write this, then it is only fair that you should work to read this. While you get to read all of my golden drippings and reap the benefits therein (huh?) what do I get? Bloody fingers. (I’m a poor typist) And you should see how all that blood ruins my keyboards. (I’ve gone through two since I started this page. )

Authors plugged in this blog: HP Lovecraft, Roald Dahl, Faulkner, me.

Books plugged in this blog: The Phantom Tollboth

Movies plugged in this blog: Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla,

Cartoons plugged in this blog: Mr. Peabody and Sherman

Celebrity big-league bloggers plugged in this blog: Mr. Know-It-All

Bad comedians plugged in this blog: Mitchell and Petrillo

Words that may possibly be Yiddish in this blog: Drek

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed that I have not yet quoted Mr. Know-It-All, as I threatened to awhile back. Sharp-eyed readers are a pain in the ass. I have no intention of quoting Mr. Know-It-All. It was just a MacGuffin (chalk up another literary reference!) to get you to read until the end. And why would I want you to read until the end? Well, because I am a writer, I believe that every word on this page is vital to your mental health. Just think what would have happened if you went to bed after only the second paragraph. How could you sleep? (“What did he mean by ‘Lovecraftian’? What would he say if he knew that I didn’t read until the end?”) I’d say “Good for you.”

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