Tag Archives: the treasure chest of terrible toys

Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Pet Rock

13 Jul

July 13, 2013

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pet rock

The Pet Rock was either a terrible toy or the most genius idea ever made. What a great pet! You do not have to walk it, feed it, clean it, take it to the vet, pick up its poop, or even look at it. And in return? Paint it, dress it up, do what you will and it will never complain, let alone bark, meow, grunt, or make any noise related to any living organism, ever. It will never run away, make any noise, or in any way remind you that it exists. And what do you get in return? Pure, pure love.

It’s a rock!

What a great business that was. Rocks cost nothing to make and they are all over the place. Talk about your infinitely renewable resource.

This was a huge fad back in the 70’s, but then again, so was Richard Nixon and Viet Nam.

So what happened to all those rocks when the Pet Rock fad died? They were painted green and sold as Kryptonite.

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I have to guess that the only reason a kid would buy one of these was to lock it in a lead lined box so that Superman could never come in contact with it and lose all his powers.

What’s next for the Pet Rock? CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT!

Coming Soon: Mr. Blog’s Tepid Rock! Just in time for Christmas!

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Terrible Toys / Saturday Comics: Bag on Head Spider-Man

2 Mar

March 2, 2013

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This one begins in Saturday Comics and ends in The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

Everyone knows that Spider-Man’s black costume, which he picked up on an alien planet, turned out to be a symbiote which tried to bond with him and control him. That creature eventually became Venom, one of Spidey’s greatest foes (and bad guy in Spider-Man 3. Hey- is this also a Late Night Movie House crossover? Yeah, why not?)

Anyway, the only thing that can get the alien off of Peter Parker are powerful sonics. Spidey goes to the Fantastic Four where Reed Richards uses a special sonic gun to free Pete and trap the alien. (Not that he stays trapped for long…) Problem is, Spidey had no clothes on under the suit, so he borrowed an old FF costume to go home in. Of course, the Fantastic For do not wear masks, so Spider-Man had to get inventive.

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Which brings us to the toy. Eventually every single person in every single panel of every single comic book ever published will get its own action figure. And this is no exception.

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Allan Keyes and I are on opposite sides of the fence on this one. He says that this is the one action figure he actually would go out and buy. I think it is totally ridiculous. (BTW- note the packaging. Yet another Spider-man costume variant.)

Hasbro Marvel Universe Future Foundation Spider-Man Bag Head Fantastic 4 FF Variant One Per Case 2012 (10)

I just can’t see spending money on this. It was funny in the comic as a two panel joke, but as an action figure? Really? This looks like it is headed to the Island of Misfit Toys to me… or maybe just the Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

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