Tag Archives: spock

Mr. Blog Meets The Scrappers (part two)

7 Sep

September 6, 2010

The thing I really missed on my first blog about the Scrappers at the 18th Avenue feast was a picture. I really wanted you to see the dirty tent, to see the bikers, to see Frank Noots wasted. Unfortunately, I didn’t have my camera and I left my cell phone in the car. So I decided to go back later in the week and get some shots. That was Sunday.

I returned on Wednesday, camera in hand, and it was wrong, all wrong.

The big Scrappers booth was filled with young Italian women cooking trays and trays of sausage and peppers, calamari, steaks, and it all smelled great. Not a scrapper, not a bad t-shirt, not a Mimmo in the place.

Where were they? They were in a tiny booth, five feet wide at best, crammed between the food tent and a booth selling ganja t-shirts and necklaces. But it wasn’t the same.

I was in the Mirror Mirror universe, where Spock had a goatee and sold scrap.

This booth had lights, a sound system blasting music, Spike TV Scrappers posters, and a big video screen showing Scrappers. Instead of surly Teamsters it was full of kids, aged eight to twelve, wearing Scrappers shirts and laughing with the crowd, which swelled all around the booth. A woman was quickly selling shirts as fast as she could. The crowd was buying them like they were going out of style. Though I couldn’t see him through the crowd, I was told Dino was there high-fiving fans.

I knew that either I was being punked, or I’d turn around to see Rod Serling in an apron selling calamari.

Only one thing remained the same- Frank Noots. He was there, but  sober(!), wearing an official black shirt like you see on TV, and working the crowd.

(OK, two things were the same- the t-shirts still sucked.)

And also like last time, I didn’t get a picture, but this time it was because the booth was so crowded I couldn’t get a shot.

What happened between Sunday and Wednesday? Where did the phony scrappers go? Why were they in the other people’s tent? Did they muscle out the Italian food for the weekend? And why were there no real Scrappers there on Sunday at all?

To quote the Wise Old Owl, the world may never know.

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My Review of Star Trek

19 Nov

excerpted from May 31, 2009

This goes back to the good old days when William Shatner didn’t wear a wig and was played by another actor. Christopher Pine played William Shatner and that guy from Heroes played Leonard Nimoy. (Anybody watch Heroes anymore? Man, that show used to be so good. Now it sucks.)  

Thanks to some time travel shenanigans, things are a little different this time around. You know how in the original series we always thought that Kirk slept around but never saw any proof? In this film he actually gets some stank on his hang low from a green chick. Sure, the green chick was hot, but when I say “stank” I literally mean “stank” as her scent glands secreted an alien pheromone that made Kirk’s gonads smell like rancid beef stew. Seriously, watch that film- from that scene on, no one stands within ten feet of him.  

Other differences include Uhura actually having lines and good special effects. Aside from that Vulcan gets destroyed and everything you knew about Star Trek over the last 40 years goes right out the window.  

Some bad guy named Zero had a total mad on for Spock. It seems that sometime in the future he blames Spock for the death of his wife- I think they were having an affair or something, and while they were together in Paris they got into a car accident and the wife died while Spock sustained only minor injuries. (On second thought, that may have been the plot of a Harrison Ford film.) Anyway, in an extreme over-reaction, Zero vowed to travel to the past, trap Spock on an ice world, and force him to watch as he blew up Spock’s home planet of Vulcan, changing the time stream so that Kirk becomes an unlikable jerk and Scotty has some weird little alien life-partner.  

 And would you believe it? Zero managed to do just that. It just goes to show you what a goal-oriented person can accomplish.  

The original cast was totally, er, recast, and only Leonard Nimoy got a cameo. William Shatner wanted a part but his demands were too high. He wanted his face in EVERY FRAME of the film. Wisely, the producers turned his generous offer down.  

 I’m not sure where they’ll go from here, but the next film better have Klingons, Khaaaaaan, and something else starting with K. Kryptonite or something.  

Before Star Trek, I saw the trailer for Up, the new animated (formerly cartoon) movie from Pixar. In it, a cranky old guy hooks up his house to a zillion balloons and flies away. I hope I am that cool when I’m old. I already know I’ll be that cranky.

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