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The Saturday Comics: Alley Oop (2012)

7 Jul

July 7, 2012

The last time I checked in on Alley Oop I was convinced that he was ripping me off and I still stand by that ridiculous and utterly indefensible position. Check for yourself, I have complete proof that I came up with the concept of Caveman Astronaut long before it appeared in print. CLICK HERE TO SEE PROOF PERFECT THAT I AM THE CREATIVE FORCE HERE.

Meanwhile, let’s see what the poseur is up to now:

What the??? I will never complain about a slow-moving strip again. (Not until next week when I check in on Apt. 3G again. That strip is just plain weird. Come back next week, you’ll see.)

Sooo, what is going on here? “Home planet?” Isn’t it enough that these strangely hairless cavemen are wandering around the 21st Century (with 21st Century relationship issues) without dragging aliens into it too? And just when I got to the point of wondering when they would Wonmug or get off the pot, some other storyline in some other place and what I am assuming some other time starts up.

What the?

While I do understand that some readers have been with Alley Oop for years and we have popped into the middle of an ongoing story, but I also feel that there needs to be some accessibility for new readers.

Alley Oop? See you next year. 

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Like A Walrus Needs A Clam?

28 Jun

June 28, 2012

You need me
Like a walrus
needs a clam
Like a fat kid
needs a ham
You need me

ANNOUNCER: Yes, I’m sure that everyone within the sound of my voice on the WBTR airwaves remembers those words. Hi, I’m Bruce E. Freedkin and the writer of that beautiful verse from the #1 hit single of 1958, “Eat Me, Porcupine,“ is here with me in the studio. He turns 97 today! Welcome to the show, Max Duffy! Hi Max, how are you today?

MAX: Eat me, porcupine.

ANNOUNCER: That was such a great song, how did you ever come up with it?

MAX: Well, back then we used to work in the Brill Building, all of us song writers. It was wonderful. All of us like-minded people, song writers, just writing music, playing music, sitting around piano, banging out tunes, high on pot, naked as jay birds-

ANNOUNCER: I’m sorry, did you just say-

MAX: There was always plenty of blow around back then too. And the broads! I remember one time Carol King did this thing with her-

ANNOUNCER: Excuse, me, are you saying that back then, when you were writing hit songs for the likes of Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra you were all just, just, –

MAX: Stoned out of our minds. But it wasn’t just the drugs or the booze, it was the power. We were kings! I remember one day not long after Summer Wind was a hit for Frankie we brought in a sack of kittens and some baseball bats and we-

ANNOUNCER: What? I’m sorry but we have to go to-

MAX: -just for the hell of it. Who was going to stop us? We were hot hit song writers, dammit! We did what we wanted! We got The Supremes mixed up with a coven of witches. Except that damn Diana Ross, she was a [BLEEP], quit the group over it. And the orgies!

ANNOUNCER: OK! WOW! That’s it! Thanks Max Duffy! (faintly off mic) Cut his mic! Cut his mic!

MAX: I [BLEEP]ed Marilyn Monroe on a pile of fifties!  

ANNOUNCER: SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF NOW!

Cut to commercial

The Brill Building. Home of money, madness, and murder.

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