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Pool Pool! (3 in 1 Classic Omnibus Repost) + Update!

21 Aug

August 21, 2012

Anyone who blogs (you know who you are, don’t deny it) knows that there is precious little money in blogging. See those ads on the side and top of my blog? Haven’t seen a check yet. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t need to make money. Sure, people think of blogging as a glamorous and ritzy occupation but in reality we need real jobs. Now while I work at the unnamed for security reasons Company which I Am Employed by, I still need to supplement my income.

A few years back I dove into the world of toys and invented a product which I promoted heavily here on bmj2k.com. From 2008, here are three Classic Reposts. Plus, as a bonus, I’ll update you on the success of my new venture as well.

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Now Ready for Beta-Testing

from July 31, 2008

Hi all. I haven’t had time to blog much lately because I’ve been spending all my time in the research labs perfecting a new game I’ve developed. I hope it will become as big as Monopoly or Hungry Hungry Hippos. It is currently ready for beta-testing.

I call it POOL POOL. It is an inflatable billiards game you play in the swimming pool. I nearly have all the bugs worked out. The only flaw is that the chalk keeps clogging the pool filter but I am working on it.

The work is going smoothly. I decided to continue my efforts in the field of swimming pool games despite the mistake I made, the tragic mistake, in my understanding of the rules of water polo. I have settled most of the lawsuits, but I still have PETA and NYRA on my back.

I hope to have POOL POOL in stores in time for the big Christmas swimming pool season. It will make a great stocking stuffer.

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POOL POOL update!

from August 8, 2008

Work on POOL POOL is moving ahead nicely. It is projected to be the most demanded toy of the 2008 Christmas pool season!

In recent weeks I have made advances to improve the playability. In addition to solving the clogged filter issue, I am pleased to announce a celebrity endorsement which will further enhance the POOL POOL experience.

I am thrilled to announce the pending launch of:

Mr. T’s “I Pity the Fool POOL POOL”™

 New features include a set of water-proof markers. Players can write the names of “fools” on the billiard balls. The cue ball has been renamed “The Pityer” ® and is used to shoot the “fools” into the “I Pity the Fool Splash Zone”®

Mr. T’s “I Pity the Fool POOL POOL”™ can be played in any outdoor or indoor swimming pool.

Don’t have a pool? You can play Mr. T’s “I Pity the Fool POOL POOL”™ in your bathtub!

Don’t have a bathtub? Play Mr. T’s “I Pity the Fool POOL POOL”™ online on our soon-to-be launched Mr. T’s “I Pity the Fool POOL POOL ONLINE SPLASH ZONE!”©

I proudly expect further exciting news in the weeks to come!

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NOW IN STOCK!

from November 23, 2008

NOW AVAILABLE!

MR. T’S “I PITY THE FOOL POOL POOL” ™

IN STORES NOW!

Yes, just in time for the big Christmas/Hanukkah pool toy rush, my new hit gift MR. T’S “I PITY THE FOOL POOL POOL”™ is now in stock at all fine toy retailers and pool supply warehouses.

FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, fans can get a GENUINE LIMITED EDITION SIGNED AND NUMBERED LITHOGRAPH with your purchase!

The first 950,000 sets of MR. T’S “I PITY THE FOOL POOL POOL”™ come with an exclusive lithograph of Mr. T himself knocking an opponent into the I PITY THE FOOL SPLASH ZONE with his own MR. T PITYER, sold separately. The lithograph was designed by the craftsmen at Zebenco Industries, who previously made the limited edition Ron Popeil Pocket Fisherman lithograph.

MR. T’S “I PITY THE FOOL POOL POOL”™is the ONLY swimming pool billiards game on the market. Buy yours NOW before they sell out!™

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NEW UPDATE!

August 21, 2012

I’m sorry to say that not only did Pool Pool not make me rich, I was later sued by Mr. T, who ended up owning the rights to both Pool Pool and my follow-up invention, Water Wars. My only consolation is that in 2009 I was able to get a court order to Stop Mr. T from blogging under the site name Mr. T’s T-Pid Ride.

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The Saturday Comics: Bob Hope

18 Aug

August 18, 2012

Last week’s installment, featuring Jerry Lewis, led me these Bob Hope comics.

From wikipedia, which I trust as much as I do any site which exercises no control over its content, i.e.: not at all.

The Adventures of Bob Hope is a comic book series that was published by National Periodical Publications (an imprint of DC Comics). The series featured stories based on comedian Bob Hope, as well as assorted other humorous stories. The series ran for 109 issues from 1950 through 1968

In the early 1950s, with sales for superhero themed comics on the decline, National Periodical Publications began licensing the right to use celebrity images, including Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Alan Ladd, and Bob Hope. Issue #1 (cover dated February–March 1950) set the tone for most of the 1950s. The lead story would feature Hope in a misadventure similar to his film roles; the back up stories tended to revolve around movie-related themes or characters. For example, issue #1 had a story on Rhonda Fleming, Hope’s co-star in the 1949 film The Great Lover.

By the 1960s, sales for the Hope series began to flag. The editors attempted to add some contemporary humor by introducing the character Super-Hip in issue #95.Despite the changes, the series was canceled with issue #109 (March 1968).

Super-Hip? What the heck is a Super-Hip?

Tadwallader Jutefruce (a spooneristic pun on “fruit juice”) is the crew cut and bow tie-clad ‘nephew’ of Bob Hope and a student at Benedict Arnold High School, an educational facility whose “Faculty of Fear” is made up entirely of Universal Horror-style monsters, including principal Dr. Van Pyre, German-accented science teacher Prof. Heinrich von Wolfmann, and coach Franklin Stein.

Whenever Tad loses his temper (usually at the instigation of a stupid prank by fellow students billionaire biker bully Badger Goldliver and his simple-minded stooge Doltish), the uptight mild-mannered boy genius turns green, starts to spin like a tornado and transforms into Super-Hip.

The long-haired Super-Hip’s outfit resembles a 1960s Carnaby Street Mod a la Austin Powers, complete with ruffled shirt, velvet jacket, and Chelsea boots with winged ankles that, similar to the Sub-Mariner, allow him to fly. He also magically acquires an electric guitar which causes whoever hears it to dance uncontrollably whenever he plays rock and roll, and he can, like Tom Terrific, change his form into virtually anything, limited only by his often surreal imagination.

Tad has no memory of his time as the obnoxious and egotistical “Sultan of Swingers”, and the only ones who know of his secret identity are his Uncle Bob and his highly educated talking dog, Harvard-Harvard.

Super-Hip’s battle-cry is “Down with/Blech to Lawrence Welk!”, as hearing the television bandleader’s schmaltzy music acts like kryptonite on him.

Ho boy, this is one series I’d gladly skip right over.

Click on the thumbnails belew for larger pics.

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