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Your Pet Loves Dressing Up Like a Harem Girl… or is it just something you like your dog to do?

29 Oct

October 29, 2010

Halloween is upon us. Kids dress up for trick or treat, adults dress up for parties, animals dress up for, what? Animals don’t dress up. Weird animal owners dress them up. Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes it really is cute to dress up your pet for Halloween or a funny picture. But the animal has to look good. Here is a selection of pictures I found online of costumes available for your pet. Do any of them look cute? Do any of them look like they are enjoying it? And who is the pervert dressing his dog up like a harem girl? Seriously, that dude needs counseling.  Here is a selection of poor animal Halloween costumes.

 

First up is Dogula, the vampire dog. Look at those friendly eyes, that tongue waiting to lick you, that… hairpiece? Yeah, this screams “vampire.” This must be the only vampire/dog without fangs.

 

Next, this seems to be the same dog dressed up as a sleepy fire chief. How nice. I wonder if the cape is flame-retardant? The best part of the suit for me is the axe, which that dog is totally unable to reach.

 

Here we have a doggy pirate. How do we know he’s a pirate? I am not sure. I may have seen the same outfit listed as “leather fetish dog” and “bone smuggler.” And what is up with that dog’s tongue? Worse, who thought it would make a good picture? Gene Simmons?

 

I have not ignored the cat lovers in the audience. Here is a costume called “the Queen.” Note to pet owners- at least try to make the costume fit the pet’s personality. Is that your idea of a queen? I think she’s planning to claw the jugular of  whoever stuck that silly crown on her head.

And here she is, the Harem Dog. Look at that come-hither glance, the see-through genie pants, and oh how fluffy is she! I am sorry guys, this is just wrong on so many levels.

And yet, that isn’t the worst.

 

That’s the worst.

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Crossroads. Interesting places.

15 Nov

from July 21, 2008

Crossroads. Interesting places.

Centuries ago, as the superstition goes, corpses that were suspected of becoming vampires would be buried at a crossroads. The theory was that the vampire, coming out his grave, would be disoriented and confused about which way to go. Hopefully, this would make the creature easier prey for the hunters who waited for the undead to rise, usually within a fortnight after death, though sources vary widely. Anther vampire burial rite was to bury the vampire face down, so attempting to crawl out of the grave would cause the ghoul to dig downward. Suicides, not allowed to be buried in consecrated ground, would be buried at a crossroad. They were considered “wandering souls” and the many routes would keep them occupied. Witches would often be buried at a crossroads, and evil spirits were believed to dance and tempt at the crossroads. Travelers were well advised not to sleep beside or near a crossroad. They are still popular in America as strong voodoo grounds.

Crossroads are therefore very dangerous places.

Two roads. Ninety-degree angles.

Cities, Manhattan, for a prime example, are nothing but crossroads. “Crosswalks,” we call them.

Modern life has dangers aplenty at crossroads, but mostly they are pedestrian or vehicular. Dig beneath the veneer of a modern city, however. Literally. New York City is built upon ancient Indian burial grounds, slave burial grounds, and sacred sites. This is true of nearly all modern cities.

So what is modern society but a thin veneer of technology and pavement over ritual and superstition?

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