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Terrible Toys / Saturday Comics: Bag on Head Spider-Man

2 Mar

March 2, 2013

treasure chest of sat com

This one begins in Saturday Comics and ends in The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

Everyone knows that Spider-Man’s black costume, which he picked up on an alien planet, turned out to be a symbiote which tried to bond with him and control him. That creature eventually became Venom, one of Spidey’s greatest foes (and bad guy in Spider-Man 3. Hey- is this also a Late Night Movie House crossover? Yeah, why not?)

Anyway, the only thing that can get the alien off of Peter Parker are powerful sonics. Spidey goes to the Fantastic Four where Reed Richards uses a special sonic gun to free Pete and trap the alien. (Not that he stays trapped for long…) Problem is, Spidey had no clothes on under the suit, so he borrowed an old FF costume to go home in. Of course, the Fantastic For do not wear masks, so Spider-Man had to get inventive.

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Which brings us to the toy. Eventually every single person in every single panel of every single comic book ever published will get its own action figure. And this is no exception.

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Allan Keyes and I are on opposite sides of the fence on this one. He says that this is the one action figure he actually would go out and buy. I think it is totally ridiculous. (BTW- note the packaging. Yet another Spider-man costume variant.)

Hasbro Marvel Universe Future Foundation Spider-Man Bag Head Fantastic 4 FF Variant One Per Case 2012 (10)

I just can’t see spending money on this. It was funny in the comic as a two panel joke, but as an action figure? Really? This looks like it is headed to the Island of Misfit Toys to me… or maybe just the Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys.

The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Justice Jogger

16 Feb

February 16, 2013

jogger

superman-logo-012LOOK! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… it’s… probably just a bird or a plane. So where’s Superman? Lex Luthor has just stolen the Fregosi Emerald (get it?) and he’s making his getaway down Bates Avenue! Someone has to stop him!

Oh, wait a minute, here comes Superman, reclining in an easy chair and drinking a nice warm cup of tea. He’s wearing a cardigan and slippers. Huh? How does he ever expect to catch Luthor now?

Oh, catch him he shall. For superman is taking it easy today, sitting back and catching up on some reading while persuing evil in his JUSTICE JOGGER!

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Yes, for those days when leaping tall buildings in a single bound just sounds like too much effort, and flying at supersonic speed is a lot of work, Superman whips out his JUSTICE JOGGER and chases the bad guys at a nice and sedate, moderate rate of speed.

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And hey- power stepping action! No longer will medium-sized rocks stand between Superman and rounding up the Royal Flush Gang. It even has a sun roof!

This looks like so much fun! Doesn't it? DOESN'T IT???

This looks like so much fun! Doesn’t it? DOESN’T IT???

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Wow- that sun roof is windup powered! And can you believe that the package says that Superman could catch Darkseid in that? Whoa, is there anything the Justice Jogger can’t do? Probably catch Darkseid, for one thing.

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This one broke down when Cyborg took it to Detroit and it was stripped for parts by a gang.