August 26, 2011
I understand and believe that animals have a place in law enforcement.
This is not it.
Geese make noise when they sense “strange movements.” I think that to a goose pretty much every movement a human makes is strange. How can a goose differentiate between normal yard activity and someone getting a shiv in the back?
Even granting their premise, I think they would need a whole flock of geese to cover the prison. How much help do they really think they will get out of two geese?
The question is Imponderable. 
My apologies to Pierre’s friend Gus the Goose.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
Stories like this support my theory that Earth is the Lunatic Asylum of this section of the galaxy ( The Orion Arm, if you want to be exact. Look it up. ). Or maybe the entire Milky Way, Magellanic galaxies & outer sections of M – 31 / aka Andomeda.
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As I said in the blog, there is a place for animals in law enforcement. This isn’t it. I’d be worried about the geese. If I were planning a prison break my first move would to be to take out the geese, then the guard tower. Get those nosey geese out of the way first. “I would have gotten away with it if weren’t for those meddling geese!”
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My Lord….. Bloodhounds, Rottweilers. Even trained alligators or silverback gorillas. But geese ?
Economics – or madness ( both ? ) ?
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Oh, I love the gorilla idea!
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Got it after a friend talked about possibly going to see
” Rise of the Planet of the Apes ” tonight. A happy coincidence.;)
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Duh!
Warden: Did Rocco manage to escape?
Guard: No sir, his goose is cooked.
or
Warden: I hope the prisoners aren’t getting up to any inappropriate behavior.
Guard: No sir, someone got goosed, but that’s about it.
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Maybe it is because it is 1 am here, but I am laughing my butt off!
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Glad to hear! What are you doing up so late?
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Until my schedule radically changes in a few weeks, just the usual surfing the net.
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Do you have to worry about the hurricane? Hope all is well.
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I do have to worry, but not as much as the others. They started some evacuations but not in my area. I am in Zone C, the last evac zone. It doesn’t look I’ll have to bug out but I am hunkering down. I should be OK to ride it out. Thanks so much for asking.
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If you’re in apartment, I hope they have a back – up generator, if you’re a home – owner, you should have a small gas – powered unit **just** to be on the safe side…..
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No generator in my building, it was built in 1936 and I’m lucky when the elevator works. I’ve got plenty of batteries and flashlights (I am a little obsessive about those and always have plenty of both) and my electronics are all charged. I’ve got enough supplies to last a lot longer than I should need anyway. My onlly real concern is if a window breaks.
As a side note, I was working in a store built over the water during the great 1994 winter storm, the Nor’easter. I watched our loading dock shake, shatter, and crumble into the sea. The sales floor split and the wind blew dirt and water up and into the store, and the building’s roof sprung dozens of leaks and ruined my store and the one above. And this storm is expected to be worse so I am glad I don’t work there anymore.
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My place was built in ’94, has back – up generators that at least keep the lobby lights & smoke alarm / security system going. The elevators go dead though. I’ve experienced 2 long, tedious blackouts that I rode out with help from Dr. Heineken.
Whether it’s the East / Gulf Coast, ” Tornado Alley “, or life near the San Andreas Fault, we get reminded that we’re not separate from the environment.
& back in the days when the Cold War was still icy, a hospital I worked at had a cavernous supply that could serve as a bomb shelter in a pinch. It could’ve housed the Egyptian treasures in the Valley of the Kings !
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My building has a “bomb shelter” from the 50’s that I think will today withstand a strong sneeze or even a bad fart, and nothing else.
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Of course, in the building where I live now, if we get serious storm activity, their ” precautions ” are to go into the bathroom, climb into the tub & pray.
& if my tub falls 3 stories during a storm through a collapsing floor onto a little old lady & her dog on the ground floor, my insurance premiums go up like a ROCKET !
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An exercise in ” Fowl ” humor….. 😉 🙂
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Are you familiar with this story?
“In the Capitoline Musuem, the Hall of the Geese honors an episode in the history of Ancient Rome when the sacred geese at the Temple of Juno saved the Eternal City.
When the Gauls invaded Rome in 390 BC a detachment of soldiers were able to make their way undetected to the side of the Capitoline Hill. The men scaled the hill so quietly that the soldier at the head of the line reached the top without being challenged.
As he struggled to put himself over the rampart, Juno’s sacred geese, disturbed by the noise, began to squawk, and woke up the sentry on duty. Marcus Manlius, captain of the guards, rushed to the wall and tossed the intruder over the precipice. To commemorate this event, the Ancient Romans carried a golden goose in procession to the capitol every year”
Question no. 2: have you ever been attacked by a goose?
However, the imponderable question is: two of them to guard a whole prison? Well, obviously they are specially trained super-geese, that’s why two are enough.
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I have been honked at but not attacked by a goose.
Do you about the Peabody ducks? Check this out: http://www.peabodymemphis.com/peabody-ducks/ (They are not related to Pierre D. Duck.)
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These are not as heroic, but at least they have prevented their fellow ducks from being eaten in the restaurant – not bad 😉
I was attacked several times by some geese while driving my car, and it was freakin’ scary. And my car always got some damage, nothing serious, but enough for me to realize what the same attack would have done to me had I not been protected by the car…
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Do you remember this blog about attacking turkeys on Staten Island? I have seen them in action.
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Turkeys are kind of scary, too, but it seems to nme that these specific turkeys weren’t doing anything horrible apart from walking around in a place where people have totally lost contact with nature and its creatures…
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They turkeys were doing nothing but being turkeys, but I know that area and it is as clost to rural as you can get in NYC. I don’t think they’ve lost contact, just that this is more contact than they bargained for. But either way, I am pro-turkey in this story.
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So…… Be kind to your web – footed friends,
For a duck ( or goose ! ) may be somebody’s mother, she lives way back in the swamp. where the weather is cold & DAMP. 🙂
Nostalgia.
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Er… sorry, I’m afraid we have a little transcultural problem here… what is this sort of poem you quoted?
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Yeah, I was just rying to crank up the ” silliness / craziness ” factor.
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Don’t let it bring you “down.” I think you deserve a “pate” on the back for trying.
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As long as my goose doesn’t get cooked, my prose will always be like ” poultry in motion “.
Man, that Prozac does wonders !!! 😉 Along w / a good beer ! 😀
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I don’t drink but after these jokes I just may start.
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You might start wetting your beak or dipping your bill ? 😉
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Glad to hear. I look forward to taking a “gander” at more of your poultry.
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I think we’re all starting to ” quack – up ” here in a honkin’ big way….. 😀
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Guinea hens would be a better choice for sounding the alarm. A flock of those would wake the dead. The only problem is, they’re incredibly stupid.
And I’ve been attacked by a goose and it wasn’t pleasant. A neighbor of ours out in the country had a goose and a gander and the male was by far the meaner of the two. I would try to run past him on my way to the neighbor’s house and sometimes he would make a rush at me and pinch me really hard on the leg with his beak, leaving a nasty bruise.
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What a low-tech solution to the rising cost of running a prison!
Crazy, but inventive.
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