Tag Archives: writing prompts

Writer’s Block #1

8 Aug

August 8, 2013

On Monday I presented 11 goofy writing prompts I googled (I still refuse to capitalize that) which were actually used by American colleges and universities. This might explain the sorry state of both our American educational institutions and graduates.

Yesterday I presented the first act of President Hobo, my latest Hollywood TV pitch. While I wait with bated breath for all the big money to roll my way from bigwig TV honchos, I find myself with a blog to present tonight.

So without further ado, here is my take on writing prompt #11: You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit Page 217. (UPenn, 2009)

I Did It, So Sue Me
by bmj2k
page 217

very lucky you’re not in jail!”

                Frankly, he was right. I never did stop to think about the consequences, and I have to admit, there were plenty of warnings. But what else was I to do?  Back then, Argentina was the closest I had to home, and unless Don Pedro Almovar changed his mind, it was likely to be my only home.

                Meanwhile, my trunk had finally arrived. I guess that General Pena had finally had enough of dragging my name through the mud and he put my luggage on what must have been the slowest train in all of South America. I can’t blame him for the shabby treatment, after what we went through I wouldn’t have done any better by him.                       

Recently released CIA photograph of me on my way to the Asmodeus Summit

Recently released top secret CIA surveillance photo of me on my way to the Asmodeus Summit

               Project Asodeus made my reputation, but it also marked the beginning of the end of my relationship with Washington DC. Once I committed, I had to recognize that I would never be welcomed back in the White House, never sit in the Oval Office and sip cocoa with foreign ambassadors and never, never again, would I be asked to attend security briefings.

               Perhaps my only regret about the operation in Argentina is the fact that I had to leave it unfinished. I recall my last conversation in the field. “Dammit, you might be the President of The United States but in this operation I’m calling the shots.”

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I admit it. I failed.

6 Aug

August 6, 2013

I tried to write a blog for today but I just couldn’t. I have writer’s block and – worse! I turned to the internet for writing prompts. The last time I did this was almost exactly four years ago when I came across the horrible, horrible Creative Writing Tips from Dakota State University, Madison, South Dakota.

I went to google and did a search for “offbeat writing prompts.” While I was there, the NSA read all of my email, copied all of my passwords, and recorded all the documents on my hard drive, including the fan letter I wrote to Carly Rae Jepsen which I SWEAR is just a joke, really, I wasn’t going to send that!

Anyway, here is a list of 11 Offbeat College Essay Topics which I am going to use in the coming days. All of these were actually asked for by real colleges around this great land of ours, God help us all:

1. How do you feel about Wednesday? (University of Chicago, 2002)

2. What outrages you? (Wake Forest, 2009) (I should let Keyes take this one.)

3. Write a haiku, limerick, or short poem that best represents you. (NYU, 2009)

4. In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line. (NYU, 2009)

5. Are we alone? (Tufts, 2009)

6. What is college for? (Hampshire College, 2009) (Notice they did not ask “what is college good for?”)

7. Please describe a daily routine or tradition of yours that may seem ordinary to others but holds special meaning for you. Why is this practice significant to you? (Barnard, 2009)

8. Make a bold prediction about something in the year 2020 that no one else has made a bold prediction about. (University of Virginia, 1999)(Veal-loving elves!)

9. Write a short story using one of the following titles: a.) House of Cards, b.)The Poor Sport, c.) Drama at the Prom, d.) Election Night, 2044, e.) The Getaway. (Tufts, 2009)

10. How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.) (Chicago, 2009)

11. You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit Page 217. (UPenn, 2009)

Now if I were making the list, it would include:

 Who the Hell do you think you are?

What the fuck?

Are you talking to me?

Anyway, I’m going to get to work on these essays, just as soon as I finish that Carly Rae Jepson letter.

 

Sigh... oh Carly, my Carly...

Sigh… oh Carly, my Carly…

 

 

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