Imponderable #62: Zimbabwe (Part One)

21 Sep

September 21, 2012

To celebrate the return of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, I am doing what is going to be the BEST IMPONDERABLE EVER! And even better- I am doing it in three parts! Today, tomorrow, and Sunday you will follow the saga of the Magical Missing Underwear of Zimbabwe!

You can thank me later.

Yes! A witch hunt! A good old-fashioned witch hunt! So here’s the set up: 26 women went to sleep and woke up pantiless. The underwear was later found in the bush, which is an unfortunate pun. Prophets are being brought in to conduct a witch hunt. I don’t know about you but I am on the edge of my seat, and I’ve already read the next 2 parts!

It only gets better, much much better, from here. All I will tell you is… you cannot guess what happens next.

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW!

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Top Ten Ignored News Stories of 2012

20 Sep

September 19, 2012

Top Ten Ignored News Stories of 2012

We all know that the mainstream media has a narrow focus and an obvious agenda. They only tell us what they want to tell us. But what else is going on in this world? What is the government/big business/New World Order keeping from us?

These are just a few of the real news stories from the alternative press that the mainstream media does not want you to know.

– Utah sucked into black hole in 2008

– NYC Mayor Bloomberg replaced by evil robot. No one notices.

– Cotton candy really is just colored spider webs

– iPhone 5 comes with lifetime committment to anti-Christ

– New American automobiles held together with Crazy Glue

– Honey Boo Boo is a reptilian from Lemuria

– All Presidential elections since the 1950’s decided by two-out-of-three falls, pins count anywhere

– McDonald’s has the DNA of anyone who ever ordered a Happy Meal

– No one interested in nude photos of Donald Trump

– Mitt Romney and Barack Obama share a common ancestor. And he was a total jerk.

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