Las Vegas, Part Eight: Convening Conventions

Las Vegas is the convention center of the world, according to Las Vegas. I’m sure that Schenectady isn’t the convention capital so I’ll buy it.

At the Rio with us was a convention of IRS agents. This was the IRS national convention. No matter where we were in the casino there were scores of people, otherwise average looking people, people whom you would never expect to be so cold and heartless: IRS agents. You could spot them easily- the beady eyes, the nerdy eyeglass cases sticking out of their pocket protectors, calculators in their breast pockets, and lots of ire in their eyes. OK, seriously, they all carried blue tote bags with the IRS logo. That was how I spotted them.

There is something fundamentally unsound and probably wrong about IRS agents gambling. After all, who paid for the convention? We did. WE sent the IRS to Las Vegas. And whose money were they gambling with? I don’t know for sure, but I’m sure it was mine, and yours, and AMERICA’S, but who is going to audit them? Who audits the auditors? So by the pool there were IRS agents taking the sun and reading thick IRS manuals. Feeding (my) quarters into a slot machine were IRS agents. Playing blackjack were IRS agents. I’m sure glad I never won a jackpot because before I ever saw a single penny I would probably have had 300 IRS agents thrusting form AT-207A’s at me from all directions. So it is better that I lost. At least that was how I comforted myself on the flight home.

The other convention at the time was a Postal Worker convention. This one almost writes itself. What does a postal worker need a vacation for? That’s why he goes to work! But I guess it was better that they relieved their stress in Las Vegas rather than, say, picking up a shotgun and opening fire at their post office.

I was never sure what the convention was for. Everyone I saw from there wore a blue “Postal Workers for Obama” shirt so I was sure that it was political.

However.

I say this without any comment. I do not in any way mean to imply anything. I will merely report the following true fact: The only white postal worker I saw wore a shirt which read “I’m Going Postal in Las Vegas 2008,” no mention of Obama.

At any rate, the US Post Office is a branch of the government so, yet again, our taxpayer money went to send them to Vegas.

WHO came up with this idea? WHERE will this end? WHY is our money going to sending government workers to Las Vegas? HOW can this be considered sound fiscal policy in any way, shape, or form? WHAT can be done to stop this? WHEN will the teacher’s convention be held in Las Vegas?

TO BE CONTINUED with, probably, Penn and Teller.