Tag Archives: news

Breakfast with Bob and Betty

5 Feb

February 5, 2010

Need some help here folks.
Back in the early to mid-eighties, there was a morning radio show called Breakfast with Bob and Betty. It aired in NYC on, I think, the old WMCA. (That was long after it left the “Good Guys” music format behind, but long before the current “God Guys” Christian talk format.

It was a really strange show. I was young and I used to listen to it as I got ready for school. I’m not sure what this says about me. Every other kid was listening to Z100 (their motto: “You can never get too much A Flock of Seagulls”) pop hits, and I was listening to old folks talk about used razor blades.

So what was the show about? It was an attempt to recreate an old-style radio show from the 40’s or 50’s. Bob and Betty were a real-life senior citizen married couple who “invited” listeners into their “kitchen” where they served coffee (coffee was a major sponsor) and discussed the day’s events. “Neighbors” would “drop by” to give traffic and weather updates. Strangely, they would drop by regularly every twenty minutes or so. Bob and Betty should have gotten a better lock.

Bob and Betty would read the paper and discuss news events, and they would sometimes, somehow, include the listeners in their conversation.

BOB: I see that the President is at it again.
BETTY: Oh dear. And what do our listeners think?
BOB: They’re shaking their heads in amazement.
BETTY: Would they like more Maxwell House Dark Blend Coffee, from the container with the Stay-Fresh seal?
BOB: Of course!
BETTY: Yummm!

They were also folksy and talked about such things as when to replace your razor-blades. Bob, a few days later, claimed that the listeners didn’t stop calling about that topic. It really caused a stir. (It seems that Bob changed blades every month, while his listeners were aghast- they got three months out of a blade. I think they were just too cheap to buy a new blade.) They talked about cleaning your drapes, washing the dog, all the sorts of things you’d expect a happily married 1950’s-style radio couple to talk about on the radio.

But they weren’t happily married. It was clear that they were having real-life marriage problems and they often seeped into the show. Some days the banter between the two of them would be icy. The coolness between them was thick and palpable. Some days they wouldn’t talk to each other at all, and the newsreader would be stuck in the middle.

BOB: I see that the President is at it again.
NEWSMAN: Well, he is proposing some new initiatives that-
BETTY: Perhaps our listeners would like more Maxwell House Dark Blend Coffee, from the container with the Stay-Fresh seal?
NEWSMAN: Sure, um, more coffee would be great.
BOB: What were you saying about the President’s new initiatives?
NEWSMAN: Uh, he feels that-
BETTY: I think our sponsor is more important than the President, don’t you?
BOB: I’m stepping out on the porch for a smoke.

On other days, you’d get only one of them, and you were never sure if it would be Breakfast with Bob or Betty. On those days the newsreader would sit in all day and banter. Invariably, the remaining host would take thinly-veiled shots at the absent host.

Soon enough both Bob and Betty were fired and the newsman became the host of a new morning news program.

That’s really all I remember. Did any of you listen to the show? Can any of you give me any more information? I really want to know.

NEWSFLASH!

13 Nov

from August 2, 2007

NEWSFLASH!!!!!!

Real news making headlines this week.

FLASH! According to the NY Post (Motto: “All The News About Strippers We Can Fit.”) Yoko Ono is getting a sex change operation. Still unknown is which sex she will choose.

FLASH! NFL star Michael Vick is being charged with a slew of Federal indictments related to running a dog fighting ring. The Vegas line has him beating the rap but not covering the spread.

FLASH! Whoopi Goldberg was chosen to be the new co-host of The View. Said Barbara Walters, “We are vewy vewy pwoud of her.”

FLASH! Media giant and owner of FOX-TV Rupert Murdoch bought the Wall Street Journal. Among his first acts were to announce that the newspaper would now be the exclusive home of The Simpsons Movie news and to name American Idol host Ryan Seacrest as Editor-In-Chief.

FLASH! A Manhattan criminal dubbed “the Spider-Man rapist” was caught by police in Washington Heights after twice sneaking in the open windows of sleeping women. According to Daily Bugle publisher J. Jonah Jameson, “I knew that masked maniac was a public menace!”

FLASH! R+B singer Usher ran out on his wedding just hours before the nuptials. Ironically, the only “usher” at the affair was the actual usher.

FLASH! The star of the TLC show “Little People, Big World” is facing DUI charges after being pulled over for driving erratically, failing a sobriety test, and refusing a breathalyzer test. According to the 4 feet, 2 inches tall actor, “all I had was a short beer!”

FLASH! A team of Hatzolah volunteer ambulance drivers was beaten in a charity softball game by the NYPD, 6-5, at Keyspan Park. The game was tied 5-5 until the bottom of the ninth, when Hatzolah outfielder Chaim Wolf misplayed a simple pop-fly into a run for the police. When asked after the game, Chaim defended his play be stating “how many Jewish baseball players have there been, anyway? Like what, three? Oy vey!”

FLASH! A new study published in the August edition of the journal “Archives of Sexual Behavior” has determined that humans have sex for pleasure. Cindy Meston, Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas estimates that she spent at least 6000 hours doing research for her project. She further estimates that it will take at least that long just to wipe the smile off her face.

FLASH! The dead body of a man was found inside a Hempstead Village auto repair shop. According to head mechanic Al Willis, “his parts will be in on Tuesday.”