Allan Keyes Dreams of Annihilation

21 Oct

October 21, 2013


Well, this is sure to give you a good night’s sleep:

“US Nearly Detonated Atomic Bomb Over North Carolina – Secret Document”

I guess someone prefers Kansas City BBQ to Carolina BBQ!…..Ok, seriously:

A secret document, published in declassified form for the first time by the Guardian today, reveals that the US Air Force came dramatically close to detonating an atom bomb over North Carolina that would have been 260 times more powerful than the device that devastated Hiroshima.


The document, obtained by the investigative journalist Eric Schlosser under the Freedom of Information Act, gives the first conclusive evidence that the US was narrowly spared a disaster of monumental proportions when two Mark 39 hydrogen bombs were accidentally dropped over Goldsboro, North Carolina on 23 January 1961. The bombs fell to earth after a B-52 bomber broke up in mid-air, and one of the devices behaved precisely as a nuclear weapon was designed to behave in warfare: its parachute opened, its trigger mechanisms engaged, and only one low-voltage switch prevented untold carnage.

Let’s get this straight- the only thing that saved the Eastern Seaboard and hundreds of thousands of lives was a $0.25 switch that most times is 50/50 that the person on the assembly line actually installed correctly. Thank goodness that the worker on duty that day wasn’t distracted by the latest Betty Page pinup or mourning the death of Chico Marx. Of course, that’s not even the part that keeps me awake at night, it’s this:

Jones found that of the four safety mechanisms in the Faro bomb, designed to prevent unintended detonation, three failed to operate properly

Three out of four?  Well, pobody’s nerfect! My lord. How shitty and shoddy was our atomic arsenal????. It’s akin to if Michael Coreleone came out of the bathroom with just the plunger in his hand. If it ever came to war, we would’ve just been dropping useless iron balls on the enemy


We had as many nuclear bombs in 1960 as we had in 1860.

We had as many nuclear bombs in 1960 as we had in 1860.

But don’t worry, this was just an isolated one-off, nothing to see here, move along!


Up to 50 nuclear warheads are believed to have gone missing during the Cold War, and not all of them are in unpopulated areas.



And one parting thought….if we have this many f**k ups, one can only wonder how many missing bombs the Russians and Chinese – both renowned for their craftsmanship and efficiency- have.

I guess it’s not like anyone is just gonna stumble upon any of them anyway….

Who doesn’t love The Young Ones? They were the voice of their generation! Um, no.

One Response to “Allan Keyes Dreams of Annihilation”

  1. bmj2k October 21, 2013 at 12:01 am #

    Two weeks in a row for the Ronald McDonald meme!


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