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Stupid Watch To Make Life Worth Living (An Allan Keyes Tech Review)

9 Sep

September 9, 2013

keyes1.jpg

Hot tech news – the Smart Watch is upon us!!!

http://www.cnbc.com/id/101002543

“Samsung seeks ‘iPod moment’ with smartwatch launch”

Not quite an IPod moment is on tap…..more like an Apple Newton moment. In case you didn’t know, the Newton was one of Apple’s biggest flops.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newton_(platform)

This is an alleged image of the soon to be unveiled watch:

          new one             

HAHAHAHAHA…..fail.  I looks like those binders Luke put on Chewbacca when they wanted to infiltrate the Death Star:

 two 

When it comes to this watch, I’m not even going to bust out the Dick Tracy references, I’ll leave that to others.  But can you imagine – there’s always that one guy who just HAS to be at the cutting edge of all new tech, so you can bank on there being one schmuck who’ll be running around wearing both Google Glasses and this stupid watch at the same time. In a related story, there’s always that one guy gets robbed of his tech very early on and endlessly cries about it.

Anyway, back to this watch, which I predict will be such a fail it is pulled off the mass market after 3 months and relegated to Sharper Image catalogues – it has some features which will include some sort of blue tooth ripoff so you can pair it with your smartphone.

Personally, it sounds about as utilitarian as this:

 three

without the shoephone’s benefit of hiding it’s enduring ugliness where nobody can see it.

Actually, I cracked wise too soon about Sharper Image – they have some fine watches that seem to be great alternatives to this impending piece of failtech Samsung is about to unleash on us. For example:

This watch has Bluetooth and caller id.

 four

This watch looks futuristic cool

 five 

This watch finds fish…..somehow

 six

Now once again, for reference, compare those watches…..to this:

 seven 

Yeah, I’m running out to buy THAT.

In the meantime, here’s some rare pics of a super secret project that Samsung is working on to capture the NEXT ipod moment. It’s tentatively called the Lobe-Bot  (see what I did there?) 

 9

  And I’d still wear all of this before I wore that “smart watch”

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “Stupid Watch To Make Life Worth Living (An Allan Keyes Tech Review)”

  1. T E Stazyk September 9, 2013 at 12:35 am #

    Concur. If you have a phone you don’t even need a watch any more. But there’s no telling how the geek patrol will swarm to a new toy.

    Like

    • bmj2k September 9, 2013 at 9:37 am #

      My first reaction was “who needs an iPhone with a wristband?”

      Like

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