August 28, 2021
You think your problem is that your sink is backed up, but maybe all you really need is a back massage.
Garbage cans full? A relaxing bath may be in order.
Graffiti on your billboard? Aromatherapy.
My company is hiring, and we are getting a lot of candidates. Here’s a resume that really stood out:
I AM EXTENSIVELY EXPERIENCED IN PORTER, MAINTENANCE POSITIONS FOR 6 YEARS, ALSO WITH A 2 YEAR EXPERIENCE IN MASSAGE THERAPY. I HAVE WENT TO STRIVE FOR MY GPRO CERTIFICATION IN FUNDAMENTALS OF BUILDING GREEN AND OPERATION ESSENTIALS ALSO IN MY CAREER PATH ACHIEVING MY EXTENDED PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE THERAPY DIPLOMA. I HAVE WORKED GREAT WITH OTHER AND CUSTOMERS IN MY CUSTOMER SERVICE AND MY ABILITY TO BE TO BE BILINGUAL IN BOTH ENGLISH AND SPANISH I HAVE RECEIVED ACHIEVEMENTS IN MASSAGE THERAPY LIKE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH TWICE IN A ROW ALSO TWO BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE AWARDS, ALSO IN PORTER I WAS RECEIVED THE PROMOTION OF SUPERVISOR POSITION FOR MY GOOD LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND CONNECTING WITH THE WORKERS MAKING ALL JOBS WELL DONE.
I have no doubt this may be the best massaging porter out there, but we advertised for investigators.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
I’m going to apply, too, and write about “MY ABILITY TO BE TO BE BILINGUAL IN BOTH ENGLISH AND ITALIAN”. I’m sure that for your company the fact that I’m not an investigator and live in a different continent won’t be a problem. I’m not very good with massages, though… but I can learn 🙂
LikeLike
I am very impressed because I can only be bilingual in English
LikeLike
And yet they hired you, so you must be good at aromatherapy and giving massages 🙂
LikeLike
Skills I learned as a former White House intern.
LikeLike
Hope you are OK!!
LikeLike
Oh yeah, just learning to laugh through the tears.
LikeLike
We saw some of the pictures down here–really scary. Hope you weren’t on a subway train!
LikeLike
I was indoors the entire day, as was the rest of my family. My new apartment doesn’t have a great view so while I knew the rain was bad I really didn’t have any idea of the scope until I saw the news the next day.
LikeLike