September 12, 2018
It’s totally time to start a new space adventure!
The Time: The future. Way, way in the future, like when you get an estimate on how long it’ll take them to paint your house and it goes way past the estimate and they are charging you for like rags and stuff. What’s up with that? So yeah, that far in the future.
The Place: Space. Somewhere like in a nebula or something. Or a black hole. Whichever is cooler, take your pick. Maybe Underwater? Nah, space.
Super Space Guy Hunk Blockcheese strides across the bridge of his spaceship. It’s really awesome with lots of expensive bling. He stops near the navigator, Callie Fornia, and flexes. He’s like got a crush on her and stuff but he’s too much of a wuss to tell her, so after a couple of minutes he goes to the gym to oil his pecs.
Meanwhile, somewhere else far away, maybe on a planet or a moon or something, there’s this evil guy all covered with tats. He has like a real mad on for Hunk Blockcheese because of something that happened in high school. It was totally his mom’s fault for always buying him those cheap department store pants. He doesn’t want to talk about it.
Blockcheese comes back from the gym, all pumped up. He sits in his chair and wants to know like where they are, you know, with coordinates and things like that. He’s trying to sound all professional and stuff because he thinks Callie Fornia likes those kinda guys.
This spaceship also has robots too, and they can fly.
Like wow! This is going to be … good?
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
Episode 53–Blockcheese finally gets up the nerve to talk to Cali and she gets so flustered she accidentally steers the ship into the black hole’s event horizon. Time slows down from the reader’s perspective (even more than it already had, if possible) and the next 984,736,291,774 episodes deal with the wild orgy that takes place on the ship when the crew realize they are on final approach to the black hole.
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You’ve got it! This is my first step into turning this site into hardcore porn.
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There should also be a really tough looking warrior-type fellow who’s constantly getting his ass kicked by whoever the big baddie of the week is. This is done to display just how impressive that baddie is, not to show how endlessly inadequate the warrior fellow is.
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Also someone should get sand kicked in his face by a bully at the beach.
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A planet that’s made up entirely of beaches.
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Somebody needs to use that in a marketing plan for the Sahara. “Come to the Sahara! It’s all beach! Nothing but sand and sun!”
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The title of that episode–“Beach Orgy In Space!”
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Oh boy. I may not be the man to write that!
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Ahh, you’re just saying that because you’ve never been in space!
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I really was going to do another post of this but it would never live up to this thread! You guys beat me.
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