June 15, 2018
In my last post, I asked a question about a quirk of female behavior that just didn’t make sense to me. Today, in the interest of fairness, I pose a question about men: What’s wrong with us?
I present the following sign, which I found taped on a men’s room door in the building my office occupies.
To make matters worse, that bathroom had been cleaned not half an hour before.
Seriously, fellow men, what’s wrong with us?
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Different options here: 1 – it’s not intentional and he might not realize he’s doing it (he might be visually impaired, for example) 2 – it’s intentional and it’s a sort of fetish 3 – he’s just a moron with no respect for anybody.
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I have never seen anything on the floor there except excess toilet paper. It is a small building and very limited suspects. For some of the reasons you cite I suspected an old man in the law firm next door. However, he had already left the building an hour before the sign went up, and also before the floor was moped. (I suspect the offense happened after the cleaning.) Then there was a middle-aged guy who that day was in clear (and gruntingly vocal) distress in the men’s room when I entered, after the cleaning, but he was standing at the urinal so I count him out.
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Well, at this point, using the famous Sherlock Holmes method, the only possible solution to this mystery is: YOU are the one pissing on the floor. You might as well admit it and get it over with. ;-P
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As I wrote the post, I said to myself, this just makes me the suspect. Sigh. Not sure how I am going to get out of this jam.
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Busted!!!
Now we know where “tepid ride” comes from!
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That’s the “tepid stream,” actually. 😉
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😀 😀 😀
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I have a few theories–excess haste, a feeling of I’m an important person and can’t waste time aiming, or perhaps even this? https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=12067210
At least the executive in Brisbane wasn’t in the Never Wipe crew!
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That made big news here. Last I read his attorney wanted to see the entire film, not just excerpts. As if the entire film will make his client look better?
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By the way, I found the culprit. It was the old guy I thought it was in the first place.
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How did your shoes survive the encounter with him?
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Distance.
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Framing an old man just to cover your filthy habits. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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I am, believe me, I am.
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Mystery solved. Yesterday it was my unfortunate luck to see the perp in action. None of you want the details, trust me. But it was not the person I suspected.
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Wait, so the other one was innocent after all? (the details would be fun, though 😉 )
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Ok but only because you asked. There is a guy who works in an office down the hall. Something like 6’3″ 350 pounds. I walk in the bathroom and he’s standing in a stall urinating. I know it’s him because his head is above the stall. The whole time I am in there he is grunting- painfully- and moaning yet it does not sound like he’s managing to urinate. I’m in there doing my thing and he sounds like he’s in obvious distress. As I leave I pass the stall and I step in a growing puddle of urine coming from his stall.
You asked.
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Oh my >___< That sounds like cystitis or something even worse… and probably he's so big he can't see where he pisses
But he should really do something for that infection, it can turn into something truly bad… By the way, next time you go to the bathroom, I suggest wearing rubber boots 😉
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I would go to a restroom on another floor but my key only works on my floor. It almost makes me miss my teaching days at Helm’s Deep High (my favorite nickname for that place) because I had the master key forr the entire building.
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Now how am I going to get that image out of my mind??
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I don’t know but on an unrelated note last week a couple of dozen porcelain tiles fell off the wall above the sink. I wasn’t there but a coworker narrowly missed getting conked on the head. I feel sorry for the cleaning lady, who is pretty nice and laughs at my jokes in spite of -or because of- not speaking much English.
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Did that distract you from that other thing? 🙂
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