Nature’s Revenge

26 Mar

March 26, 2013

news roundup week!

Thanks to Allan Keyes for tipping me off to this.
All week I’m featuring news items from around the world, culminating in an Imponderable from New Zealand this friday. We’ll be visiting Africa and Japan this week, but today we stick to the good ‘ol USA, and there is no state that says USA more than Texas.

snake1

Never mind snakes on a plane, these snakes are a-flame! (Hey, I know that stinks. Give me a break. You try doing this.)

This was not the most well thought out woman in the world. She saw a snake in her yard, so her natural reaction was to douse it gasoline and set it on fire. Makes perfect sense to me. I’m sure this woman panicked because:

A- the snake was a poisonous Black Mamba, which is indigenous to Africa and never, ever, seen in Texas
B- she thought the snake was an assassin. When asked, the snake replied “I’m a soldier, to which the woman said “You’re neither. You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.”
C- the woman was just stupid

Personally, I think she overreacted. The proper thing for a Texan to do upon spotting a snake is to trample it with his herd of cattle.

5 Responses to “Nature’s Revenge”

  1. T E Stazyk March 26, 2013 at 3:49 am #

    What a wonderful story! I wonder what her insurance company is saying about it?

    BTW, In my opinion, Choice B is one of the greatest lines in movie history. Right up there with “Terminate with extreme prejudice. He’s out there operating without any decent restraint. Totally beyond the pale of any acceptable form of human conduct.”

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  2. Jimbo March 26, 2013 at 4:37 am #

    I have a story about a flaming baseball (soaked in gas first) that is similar to this story; yes, I’m from Texas. We like fire.

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  3. zathra March 26, 2013 at 5:54 am #

    She set the snake on fire ? Texans DO love their barbecue. I wonder how the meat would’ve tasted with some hickory or barbecue – flavored barbecue sauce ?
    MM. Snake filet…..

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    • T E Stazyk March 26, 2013 at 4:24 pm #

      Gives new meaning to the term “tube steak”!

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      • zathra March 26, 2013 at 11:19 pm #

        I think I would prefer ” Snake Tartar ” ! Ar, ar !!

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