Tag Archives: Larry

Snappy answers to Sappy Headlines (October 2014)

15 Oct

October 15, 2014

The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride have been doing a little market research. It turns out that the Snappy answers posts are some of the most read blogs by women over 80 who are also members of my great-aunt’s sewing circle. In fact, all 5 members of the Newkirk Needles received a phone call from me asking if they had ever heard of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride and the one who took my call said yes! Then she asked me to please stop,.(I’m not sure what.)

If you ask me, that’s a mandate. So here is the fourth installment of Snappy Answers.

newserclown

‘Wasco Clown’ Terrorizing California… Kind Of. Clown Posting On social Media Inspires Rash of Apparent Prank Calls.

Jerry Brown. Has to be. What bigger California clown is there than Governor Jerry Brown?

This seems to be an epidemic. Not long ago, the same thing was allegedly happening here on Staten Island. This is the kind of thing you wish really was going on. You wouldn’t want it to happen to you, no sir, you would not want to run into a creepy clown in the middle of the night, but as far as an internet story goes, this is top of the heap. A creepy clown hanging around a deserted train station at 2 in the morning? Boo yah! Internet gold! And the basis for umpteen episodes of Scooby Doo.

 

newserbird

Parrot Missing 4 Years Returns Speaking Spanish. Bird Keeps Talking About Someone Called Larry.

*SQUAWK* “Larry? Donde esta Larry?”
*SQUAWK* “Tomaste tu medicina, Larry?”
*SQUAWK* “Llame al 911! Llame al 911! URK, GAWK! Por desgracia es demasiado tarde, me ha ido!”

newserobit


78-Year Old Man’s Obituary Opens With A Penis Joke. Howard Cocks Dickinson IV Apparantely Loved Women, too.

I would guess that this man did not die with his boots on. Condom, sure, but not boots.

Howard Cocks Dickinson IV. You win Newser. I can’t beat that.

 

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The Three Stooges in Twerk Jerks

10 Dec

December 11, 2013

Oh, how I wish I could travel back in time. Because if I could, I would totally make this Three Stooges short. Moe, Larry, Curley… and Miley???

Twerk Jerks

Picture it. The Stooges are sitting in their room (bedroom/living room/kitchen) gathered around the radio. Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus comes on.

Moe: “Hey, it’s that Miley Cyrus dame.”
Curly: “Ever see her dance? Hubba hubba!”
Moe: “You said it, skinhead.”
Larry: “Ah, she ain’t nothin’. I can dance like her.”
Moe: “Shut up porcupine. I can’t hear the music.”

Larry stands up and starts waving his butt in the air. “Hey Moe! I’m twerking! I’m twerking!”
Moe: I’ll show you twerking!”

Moe hits Larry on the top of the head. Larry, who had his tongue sticking out of his mouth like Miley, bites his tongue and screams. Moe grabs Larry by the belt, from behind, and hangs him from a hook on the wall.
Moe: “Let’s see you twerk your way out of that!”

Curly: “You call that twerking? Watch this! Nyuck nyuck!”
Curly stands up and starts waving his butt around, while moving backwards in circles around the room. Moe, caught behind Curly, has to run to avoid him.
Curly: “Woooo! Woo woo woo! Wooooooo!”

Moe jumps on the bed. He reaches out and opens the door. Curly twerks out the door into the hall. Suddenly, a loud crash is heard. Moe runs out the door. Larry takes of his belt and falls off the hook. He runs after Moe, holding up his pants.

Moe and Larry see Curly with his butt stuck halfway through a door. He twerked into the door and smashed it. They pull Curly out of the door and they go back inside.

Moe: “Sit down you mental midgets. I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Moe plays a single note on a harmonica, smiles, and starts a very sedate, deliberate twerk.
Moe: “See boys? That’s how it’s done and no one gets hurt.”

Larry: “Ahh, you don’t know nothin’. C’mon Curly, let’s twerk!

Fade out on The Stooges twerking.

———-

Ok, it’s a little short, but you get it. Gold! It’s gold! The Three Stooges in Twerk Jerks. If you ever see it, you’ll know my time travel experiments paid off.

Picture Postcard: The Three Stooges in Have Rocket Will Travel

29 May

May 29, 2012

Whoever directed these guys, and whoever designed that rocket, and whoever colored this still, knew what they were doing.

I think that picture speaks for itself, don’t you? It’s their first “full length” motion picture.

But in case it doesn’t, take a look at this close up of Larry’s face:

Yeah, I’d love to have been around during this photo shoot. I can only imagine what the director said to Larry to get that look. “Thrust harder Larry, thrust into Moe harder! Curley Joe, thrust harder into Larry!”

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