Tag Archives: hitler

The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Adolph Hitler Doll (Historic Yet Awful Repost)

24 Aug

August 25, 2013

Summer is nearing an end, so you know what that means. Hitler!

from January 5, 2013

HITLER DOLL HEADER

hitler doll

This doll is made, I fervently hope, not for children but for the collector’s market. The totally messed-up and psychologically screwy collector’s market. The Adolph Hitler doll is a part of the War Ciminals of the 2oth Century series. Other dolls in the set include Himmler and Castro.

Here are a few comments from around the web:

From Graveyardrecords.com:

This doll was made by In The Past Toys of Staten Island, New York in 2000 and became 1 of the hardest dolls of Adolf Hitler to every be made, it is also the best looking doll to ever be made. The likeness is dead on and looks just as Adolf did at the height of his power..

This doll stands about 12″ tall and the box is in Near Mint condition with only minor self wear.

Please keep in mind that Graveyard Records & Movie Maniacs is only selling this doll due to it’s historic / collector purpose and is not intended to glorify, nor exploit the horrors and atrocities of war.

From vice.com:

“All the GI Joe collectors I used to meet would say how lousy figures were these days,” Deborah says from her studio in Staten Island. “They would go on about how nobody was making figures that collectors really wanted to see. I decided the best one to make would be Hitler.

“At first I had one or two people complaining, but the overall response to the figure has been amazing.

Obviously not one to be held back in her commercial ambitions by taste or decency, Deborah’s soon launching a set of serial killer dolls including Charles Manson, the Hillside Strangler, David Berkowitz aka the Son Of Sam, “Hannibal the Cannibal, and the Chainsaw Massacre guy.”

Even better, she’s about to create a line of “Middle Eastern Agitators,” which will feature 12-inch, detailed-to-the-max dolls of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.

Who’s next? Quaddafi? The Ayatollah?

“I can’t tell you our secrets, but there’s going to be 15-20 new figures out this year. Don’t rule anything out.”

Seriously, who wants these dolls? Who is clamoring for a Charles Manson doll?

If you need a Hitler doll, keep it to yourself.

I just don’t get it. I would not play with this, I would not display this, I would not let any hint escape that I own this.

Never mind registration for guns, I want registration for Hitler doll owners.

HitlerDoll

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The Unhappy People (Archives a2 and a3)

9 Apr

April 9, 2013

antiquities header

I don’t have dates for these two artifacts but they both date back to the late 20th Century, approximately the mid-1990’s.

The first is a picture of a school teacher who had unfortunately been shot while in school.

Shot

The caption reads “Tried to stop fight: Teacher Robert Anderson was shot when he tried to intervene.”

In my past as a teacher, I had a rep as a fightbreaker. Luckily none of my combatants had weapons. But here is the thing. While there is nothing funny about the story, that picture cracks me up. When was it taken? It has to be from before he was shot, but look at his face. I like to believe- no, I want to believe- that the picture was taken at the EXACT moment he was shot. That image was captured just as the bullet entered his gut. Am I cruel? Am I being mean? I hope not but look at him, he looks like he was just shot and he’s about to let out a groan.

Dumpy Family

Don’t they look happy? You’d think they just won the lottery or something, they are so overjoyed.

Well let me tell you what really happened.

They won the lottery.

Don’t they look happy?

(And the father looks like Hitler.)

Now THIS Guy Is Cool!

21 Jan

keyes1.jpg

You ask most Americans what they think of when you say the word “cool”? A fair majority would probably say this guy:                     

Mr. Blog says: There were better pictures Allan Keyes could have used, but none as funny. Why the heck is The Fonz making love to his thumb?

Mr. Blog says: There were better pictures Allan Keyes could have used, but none as funny. Why the heck is The Fonz making love to his thumb?

Yeah, the middle aged, unthreatening greaseball from Happy Days.  As if eating ravioli out of a can alone in a garage at Christmas could ever be cool.

Other answers abound of course, ranging from James Dean to 57’ Chevys to tattoos to Dr. J, etc.

ALL OF THOSE ANSWERS WOULD BE WRONG.

You know who is cool? THIS GUY: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255533/The-amazing-story-Mad-Jack-hero-took-Nazis-bow-arrow-later-professional-bagpipe-player.html

 

He was nicknamed Mad Jack by his men during the Second World War.

After coming face to face with Lieutenant Colonel John Churchill, the Germans probably had a similar, if less affectionate, moniker for the eccentric officer.

Rather than wield a sub-machine gun in battle, the commando leader inspired his comrades by storming beaches armed with a bow and arrow and two-handed sword, dressed in a kilt and playing a set of bagpipes
 
 

!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They had me at “Mad Jack”.  Lets get this straight right now: THIS IS A MAN WHO STORMED NAZI BEACHES WITH A BOW AND ARROW, WHILE IN SCOTTISH REGALIA.

This is a real life Braveheart/Rambo hybrid. WHY HAVEN’T I EVER HEARD OF THIS MAN SO I COULD’VE WORSHIPPED HIS STATUE?

Untitled

 

He enhanced his reputation by capturing 42 German prisoners with only his broadsword and later escaping from one of the most daunting Nazi jails before the end of the war.

!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For most men, this would be their valedictory, the stuff of their legend. For John Churchill, CAPTURING 42 GERMANS WITH ONLY A SWORD was merely a “reputation enhancer” And the escaping from prison? That’s a freaking afterthought, as if it was a matter of course for him. Which it most probably was.

How the eff do you capture 42 guys with a sword? Even if they were members of the Pussywillows instead of the Panzers, that’s a daunting task. Folks, the alpha-maleness is so strong in this one, even just through this article, I’m popping a small beta-male submission boner.

You know what this guy reminds me of? This scene from Star Wars:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raF9wfPxir8

Except Mad Jack here was fighting REAL stormtroopers, and unlike Han Solo, he sealed the deal.  What was it about WW2 that unleashed some of the most bad-assed men ever seen? This guy and my other favorite, Simo Häyhä who sniped out over 500 (!!!!) Russians during the war.

Killing Nazis with a bow and arrow…………………….AWESOME!

 

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