Tag Archives: Conrad Bain

From the Mr. BTaRchives

6 May

May 6, 2014

This blog has been on WordPress since 2009. It has been around a lot longer than that, but you had to be on MySpace to see it, and we all know what happened with that site. So when everyone upped and moved out of MySpace one day, leaving me all alone (“Hey, where’d everyone go? Huh? What’s a “Facebook”?) I moved most of my old posts over to WordPress and continued on.

But while the posts were the same, the look was not. Although I didn’t keep any screencaps, I found a lot of old images of the blog on the Internet Archives site. Here is a smattering of the old looks of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

1btrnov2009

Here we are, back in November of 2009, and I love the white text on a black background. However, I got a few complaints that it was hard to read so that didn’t last long. There are a few things worth mentioning here. First, the header. I took that picture myself in Coney Island. Since then, Astroland has been sold and the rocket has gone with it. If you go there today the burger boy is still there, but the rocket is long gone. The header also features one of my old taglines, “It is what it is.” We’ll see some more tags later on. That page also features my old bio, before the current one written by Mac of BIOnighT.

 2btrfeb2010

This is from February 2010. The black background is gone and you can see a little more of the Coney Island header. (There is much more to that image, still unseen.) I liked this theme because it leaves the header image clean. The sidebar has one of my favorite “raves,” from Jim at relicradio.com.

3btrapr2010

This is April 2010 and we’ve gone to a more modern header. In fact, I’m currently using a variation of that header right now. Do you see the grammatical error in this one? It isn’t really an error. At the time this was made, the software didn’t support apostrophes. I figured it looked good and no one would notice. The tag has also changed, to “some guy’s idea of fun,” which I still think sums this blog up.

4btrjune2010

June 2010 and we’re starting to look familiar. I changed to the current theme, but I’m using one of the generic WordPress color schemes. The tag has changed once more, to “Based on the novel “Mr. Blog” by Sapphire,” which is making me chuckle as I type but may be too dated to reuse.

5btraug2010

August of 2010 brought a new tag (“A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. Wait- that’s Knight Rider.”) as well as a new “rave,” from the multi-talented JRD Skinner of flashpulp.com. He picked right up on my Superman obsession. There is also a “contact me!” link, which today can be found at the bottom of the “About me” page. I have to warn you, though- now, as then, I never check that email. All I ever get is spam about people wanting me to run their ads.

6btrjan2011

January of 2011 and I’ve changed to the green color scheme, which won’t last long. The tag has also changed to something close to my current tag. The header image is the first of a few city scenes and highway signs I’ve used over the years. This version of the blog added a few new pages, including the Scrappers page which is mercifully long gone. I added the Invisible Man founder image, and it popped up once or twice more over the years. I also wasted a lot of space with more “raves,” none of which appear on the blog anymore due to, quite honestly, my embarrassment. This particular Conway Twitty post still gets a ton of hits and the occasional angry comment.

7btrapr2011

In April 2011 I added the custom background which looks a lot better now than it does here. It still isn’t quite finished yet, but this is close to the way the blog currently looks. The founder is gone, replaced by my teaser (and I still love that ad) for the return of Mr. Know-It-All.

8btraprlate2011

Here we are. I added the sidebars, and there’s my Conrad Bain plaque. (Why? Why not?) You can also see an early version of the long running city header, which ran for longer than any other image.

There have been some other changes along the way, including a ton of American Chopper headers, and the Tepid Zombie header, which I still dust off when appropriate.

zombie-header

By the way, here’s the full Coney Island rocket header:

16_astroland_rocketBMJ2K

The graffiti on the windows is my addition, but the rest of the building looks the same if you go there today, except for the rocket.

The blog hasn’t changed much in the last three years. The tag changed yet again, and there are some other small alterations. The site is due for another change, but no matter what, I promise not to go back to the white letters on black background.

March Madness 2: Electric Boogaloo!

11 Mar

March 11, 2014

keyes

We have two of the final four set so far, in what has been an utterly exhausting marathon of Youtube viewing. I’ve done this because I’m dedicated, because I’m driven….but mostly because I’m bored. I had planned to weigh in on both the hipster beard transplant and monocle stories before Mr. B did, but I couldn’t get past typing “die die die die die die die” on my keyboard before needing to bite down on a stick due to a rage seizure.

Speaking of seizure! These next bracket busters will give you just that because we have some of the most awful entries in this tourney right here. As the great poet Randy M.M. Savage once stated “Snap into a Slim Jim!”  You know what I mean!

Bracket 4

Family Matters (“The Gun”) 

vs. Fresh Prince of Bel Air (“Just Say Yo”) 

OH DAMN! THIS IS GONNA BE SETTLED BY A YOU-GOT-SERVED STYLE DANCE OFF! So let me give the synopsis behind this EPIC feud:  On Family Matters, the daughter narrowly misses getting beat down by a gang and decides to buy a gun to defend herself. Why she didn’t ask her daddy for help I’ll never know. The fat bastid did a great job of snuffing that terrorist in Die Hard.   Oh yes, Urkel raps about gun control, in a clip that the NRA should be using to make guns seem even more cooler than they are.

On the other side, Will is taking uppers for some reason, presumably to prove that he has more street cred than Jazzy Jeff. Anyway, he accidentally gives Carlton uppers with hospitalization hilarity ensuing.

So…..LETS DANCE THIS OFF BEEOTCHES!

SERVE:

COUNTER SERVE:

And the winner………….strangely enough, FONZIE! 

The Undercard:  Diff’rent Strokes (“The Hitchhikers”)

vs Mr. Belvedere (“The Counselor”)

FINALLY. Kimberly is all grown up an HAWT. Hotter than Jean Stapleton that’s for sure. Anyway, this is probably the hottest of all Diff’rent strokes episodes. Cruel tease Kimberly hitches a ride with the wrong man, and we finally get the promise of some hot Dana Plato action before her inevitable death. She’s held captive in a lucky gentleman’s home and he’s aiming to get him some, until lousy rat Arnold escapes and leads the police to the crib, spoiling all the fun for him (and for us) I’m sorry but I can’t imagine any boy over the age of 12 watching this episode and not hoping to see some “Diff’rent strokes” – if you get my drift heh heh. But it aired on CBS, not Cinemax so we were out of luck. On a side note…..what the eff is it with the Drummond kids? They’re always getting kidnapped or whatnot. What’s the point of money if it doesn’t insulate you from the riff-raff?? Then again, the Drummonds seem to like the riff-raff – he married that had Dixie Carter didn’t he?

 As for Mr. Belvedere, first of all let me pat myself on the back for my tag line “Ensign Wesley Toucher” bwah hahahahaha….. Anyway, we also get the promise of some HOT action when cruel tease Wesley is rubbed provocatively by a camp counselor. But Wesley is confused. What to do? If he squeals he may be an outcast! The lousy rat eventually spills the beans, ruining all the fun.  When asked how he was doing after his ordeal, Wesley had the classic line “Well, I got molested. But other than that, pretty good!”

bleah

Now watch the excruciating promo for this episode:

Am I the only one left with the impression that both Bob Ueker and Christopher Hewitt are going to double-team beatdown the molestor after the fade to black???  

 I gotta tell you…..these were some sexy episodes. And while both will go into the old spank bank (Yes, I have some issues and yes I’m going to hell) like the Highlander, there can only be one:

Winner……. Mr. Belvedere!

BRACKET CHAMPIONSHIP:

FONZIE vs Mr. Belvedere.

No contest. Not at all.

BRACKET WINNER:  FONZIE  (?!??!?!?!)…………..um….. ok.

Fonzie?

Fonzie?

BONUS: FAMILY MATTERS RAW! I never knew this existed, and I’m fluent in racist. This one actually shocked even me: 

 

Next time:  “Edna’s Edibles” Bracket to round out the final four!!!

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