Archive | Writing RSS feed for this section

On behalf of all men, I apologize.

21 Oct

October 21, 2014

On behalf of all men, I apologize to intelligent women everywhere.

Specifically, I apologize for this insipid, ridiculous Sprint ad, which could only have been created by a male advertising executive. (Advertising executives are pretty much on the bottom of the ladder of tastefulness, only rivaled by used car salesmen and members of Congress.)

I apologize for this commercial, which makes otherwise adult and seemingly intelligent women turn into superficial children, little more than giggling screaming, orgasmic banshees at the mere thought of a new phone.

It is dumb and offensive, plain and simple.

I am sorry, ladies. I apologize.

sp5

And Judy Greer, you should know better. 

 

.

 

About these ads

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS RETURNS! (Sorry, but Allan Keyes is back too.)

17 Oct

October 17, 2014

keyes

Give this a look before you read below. The relevant scene runs from 21:25 – 21:36

ab1

Just in case anyone was wondering about how the sitcom March Madness thing shook out, Fonzie won it, beating out the episode of Too Close for Comfort where Monroe was raped by two bulldyke “women” and at the end Mr. Rush just barely escaped that awful fate also.

No, really. That happened.

monroe raped

I’d say to expect some more of my doggerel when I can pump it out, but in the meantime I daresay it’s good to be back.

And look who else is back!

fat guy heart

Snappy answers to Sappy Headlines (October 2014)

15 Oct

October 15, 2014

The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride have been doing a little market research. It turns out that the Snappy answers posts are some of the most read blogs by women over 80 who are also members of my great-aunt’s sewing circle. In fact, all 5 members of the Newkirk Needles received a phone call from me asking if they had ever heard of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride and the one who took my call said yes! Then she asked me to please stop,.(I’m not sure what.)

If you ask me, that’s a mandate. So here is the fourth installment of Snappy Answers.

newserclown

‘Wasco Clown’ Terrorizing California… Kind Of. Clown Posting On social Media Inspires Rash of Apparent Prank Calls.

Jerry Brown. Has to be. What bigger California clown is there than Governor Jerry Brown?

This seems to be an epidemic. Not long ago, the same thing was allegedly happening here on Staten Island. This is the kind of thing you wish really was going on. You wouldn’t want it to happen to you, no sir, you would not want to run into a creepy clown in the middle of the night, but as far as an internet story goes, this is top of the heap. A creepy clown hanging around a deserted train station at 2 in the morning? Boo yah! Internet gold! And the basis for umpteen episodes of Scooby Doo.

 

newserbird

Parrot Missing 4 Years Returns Speaking Spanish. Bird Keeps Talking About Someone Called Larry.

*SQUAWK* “Larry? Donde esta Larry?”
*SQUAWK* “Tomaste tu medicina, Larry?”
*SQUAWK* “Llame al 911! Llame al 911! URK, GAWK! Por desgracia es demasiado tarde, me ha ido!”

newserobit


78-Year Old Man’s Obituary Opens With A Penis Joke. Howard Cocks Dickinson IV Apparantely Loved Women, too.

I would guess that this man did not die with his boots on. Condom, sure, but not boots.

Howard Cocks Dickinson IV. You win Newser. I can’t beat that.

 

.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 446 other followers

%d bloggers like this: