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Fun With Teh Internets: CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

23 Dec

December 23, 22014

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Allan Keyes brings us the next Christmas Classic. What goes together better than Santa, kids, and hysterical crying?

From December 17, 2012

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He sees you when you’re sleeping…..he’s kinda creepy actually.

Bringing your children to see Santa Claus is a time-honored tradition. The kids wait with breathless anticipation for the chance to rattle off all the toys they want Santy to bring them : A pony, a football, a Red Ryder BB Gun, a dollie, some Dockers, an Ipad, a crossbow, Knicks season tickets, a subscription to  The Economist, and the complete Sanford and Son on Blu-Ray (these are some interesting kids!)

What can be more American than that? How heartwarming, how heartstring-tugging. How cute! So of course, since I’m a dirtbag, we’re going in the total opposite direction. BAZINGA!

Fun With Teh Internets:  CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

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Mom, forgive me but I HAVE to comment here. This poor child is not only being scarred for life, but he looks an awful lot like Don Knotts:

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She’s crying because this is a pathetic attempt at being a Santa. HINT: Just because you may have a beard already doesn’t excuse you from wearing a REAL FAKE beard. And put on the red suit also will ya? God, put a little effort into it man

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Looks like SOMEONE is getting a visit from the ghost of Christmas future! (PS- A Christmas Carol absolutely sucks, unless it’s the Mr. Magoo version, or Captain Picard is starring in it)

Black Friday Thursday

26 Nov

November 26, 2014

This is to all of you who are complaining about stores being open on Thanksgiving.

Stop it.

Stop blaming the stores. Thousands of people line up hours before the shops open, skipping food, sleep, and basic human comforts just to get a cheap TV. Blame them.

If thousands of people lined up outside of your house and waved money at you, what would you do? You’d open your door and invite them in for coffee. So until people stop sacrificing their humanity for a shot at a bargain on an iPad, leave the stores alone.

Doctor Who: My Contrary View

11 Nov

November 11, 2014

This contains major spoilers for the series finale of Doctor Who, Death in Heaven. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading here.

I really enjoyed Death in Heaven. The highlight was Michelle Gomez as the Mistress. I’d love for her to somehow come back. I also think Peter Capaldi is a fantastic Doctor. In fact, though I mostly enjoyed this season, I think Capaldi has been better than the scripts he’s had to work with. I’m looking forward to next year. He should really come into his own, with a companion that will be written just for him. I liked his relationship with Clara, but it was clear she wasn’t the right companion for him.

But I had some major problems with the finale, and judging from the online reviews I’ve seen, I may be in the minority. Let’s start off with what stood out to me the most, then take the rest in no particular order.

The Bad Guys Won

Mistress and the Cybermen may not be around to savor their victory, but they achieved it nonetheless. Think about what they did: they successfully robbed every known grave on Earth. Every tomb in every cemetery is now empty. Think about the seismic shift in how people grieve/mourn/worship that must create. How will people react to their beloved ancestors not only being taken from their resting places, but then blown to atoms? There would have to be a seismic shift in most people’s world- or religion- view. What would the world’s religious leaders say? How would society react? And what becomes of all the now vacant cemeteries? Yes, everyone who dies post-invasion will continue to be buried, but in some respects, a huge chunk of the past is now moot.

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The Cybermen Are No Longer Interesting

Honestly, the new series Doctor Who has never been able to make the Cybermen interesting. Even when they were introduced, they weren’t the real thing; they were parallel-universe versions. By the time Neil Gaiman got to them, all he did was manage to make them faster and sleeker. Their motivations? Backstory? Unexplored. And that’s a shame since they have such a rich backstory. Want Cybermen done right? Big Finish did it with Spare Parts. All this series finale did was finish them off. There was no indication that the Cybermen were working with Mistress, no indication that they had any motivation or agenda of their own. By all appearances, Missy was using them as she would any other weapon. The Cybermen were merely tools, same as a gun or a tank. And they are so far from their Mondas/Telos origins that they might as well have a new name. These are Cybermen in name only.

The Brigadier

Most reviews are calling this episode a touching goodbye to the Brig.

Nonsense. Seeing the Brigadier as a Cyberman was just painful. I’ve been watching Doctor Who since I was a child in the 70’s and I have seen every existing episode. To see a man who fought the Cybermen in his second appearance turned into one was just sad. Yes, it was great that he overcame his programming and saved his daughter, but when was the Brigaider ever a murderer? That laser bolt truly did come from out of the blue. You can argue that he saved the Doctor from becoming a murderer, you can debate that he was a soldier doing what soldiers do in war, you can argue that he was just doing what had to be done. But again, when did the Brigadier ever kill someone in cold blood? And you can’t blame it on his cyber-conversion. If he overcame his programming to save his daughter and not fly off into the sky with the others, then you can’t use it as an excuse here. This scene just sullied the Brigadier’s memory.

And then he became one.

And then he became one.

President Who

Seriously? On the show, it has been established that the Doctor is too well known. He wiped his memory from people’s minds and erased himself from the entire Dalek network. Behind the scenes, the producers said that the Doctor was too big and had to go back to being more mysterious . So what do they do? They make him President of Earth. Yes, on the show the Doctor protested, but the bottom line is when they wrote this episode, they wrote him into being President of Earth.

So much for mystery.

 

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