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Random Mumblings

25 Nov

November 25, 2014

Just some random thoughts.

I don’t know if Bill Cosby is guilty of not. I get the feeling he is, in at least some of those cases, but I can’t really say, that’s just an opinion. But here comes Cos complaining that the media is out to destroy him. Really? The media? The same media that made him a beloved star for as long as I’ve been alive. The same media that made him America’s Dad and barely covered past allegations against him. What did they do wrong now, besides cover a legitimate news story? Cos, I’d get it if you blamed the accusers, I’d understand if you got angry at having your shows dropped, I even agree that a lot of the things said against you are unsubstantiated or unproven. But what do you want them to do when a parade of women keep coming forward with allegations against you? You’re a smart guy, Cos, keep your mouth shut. (And, if my suspicions are right, keep it in your pants too.)

151784-bill-cosby-as-cliff-huxtable

NYC’s new speed limit is 25 mph, down from 30. Yes, it saves lives, no debate. But man, it’s slow! All I have to do is take my foot off the brake and my car is doing 25 before I ever get near the gas. But I’m not going to advocate for raising the limit, what I want is for the streetlights to be recalibrated. The lights are now set for a car traveling a certain speed to be able to get from one green light to another (when synchronized correctly, that is) before it turns red. But now, with cars going slower (and some real idiot drivers don’t even go as fast as 20 anymore) you hit red light after red light. someone please fix the signals!

l_20130812-fast-lane-1200

Al Sharpton owes about 4.5 million in taxes, and his defense was that he didn’t father an illegitimate son. And it worked! The tax story immediately disappeared. Why can’t the media hound ol’ Rev. Al the way Cosby says they hound him?

I know this is a very old picture, but how could I not use it?

I know this is a very old picture, but how could I not use it?

Every once in a while I’ll get on twitter and poke fun at #Mulaney, that show that FOX  stubbornly claim’s is a sitcom. And you know what? I tried, I really tried, but that show is awful. I mean “I’d rather watch The Real on FOX” awful.

Now I canceled Mulaney!

Now I canceled Mulaney!

And lastly, what’s with all the female singers singing about their booty? If I had a daughter I’d be really upset about the message they’re sending. Used to be bad when men objectified woman down to a body part, but women win Grammy Awards for doing it to themselves? Sad. And the less said about Kim Kardashian’s rear-end mountain the better.

grammy-broken

And while I’m on the subject of music, if Taylor Swift is the best they can do, “in six months we’ll be running this planet,” said one Taylor to another.

planet-of-the-apes-taylor-landon-dodge

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Lying Awake With John Newly: The 4th Hour

22 Nov

November 22, 2014

And that’s the news at 3:05 am. Stay tuned for the fourth hour of Lying Awake with John Newly.

Promo for the WKAT listener sweepstakes- “if we pick your cat’s name from our giant listener litter box, you’ll win a KAT Cat Hat! Offer void in the continental United States.”

Strange sci-fi Theremin music swells, announcer with unusually deep voice and a slight lisp speaks.

Lying Awake with John Newly airs six nights a week from midnight to six am. Callers are welcome on the studio line, 1-800-463-WKAT, the international line by calling overseas operator 27, or tonight’s “That Chupacabra ate my pants!” hotline, 1-800-NoMoPants. And now, here’s John Newly.

Music fades out, show begins.

Ghosts, witches, and bagels, we’ve covered it all here tonight. Welcome back to Lying Awake with John Newly. That’s me by the way, John Newly, and if you’ve ever wanted to meet me in person, you can see my tour schedule on the Lying Awake website. My producer Fast Eddie makes sure to keep that up to date. Next week, I’ll be in the Main Street Reading Room in Tombstone Arizona reading an excerpt of my new book, The Devil’s Hidden Chakra. Tombstone Arizona, is that right, Fast Eddie? Tombstone? (Inaudible off mic.) I hope there are still people living there! I’d hate to be all alone in a ghost town! Meanwhile, we’ve been speaking with Doctor Lazarus P. Brookstone on all kinds of topics, he’s a self-proclaimed “Mr. Know-It-All Who Knows It All.” We’ll continue our discussion next.

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Commercial for local politician Brad Fergus, advocating higher taxes on everything.

We’re back and before the break, I was asking Doctor Lazarus P. Brookstone what he knows about UFO’s. Doctor?

- I know a lot, actually.

What can you tell us?

-What would you like to know? (Laughs.)

Are UFO’s real?

Plan9_3

-Yes.

Yes? They do exist? Flying saucers, aliens, the whole thing?

-Yes, the whole thing and even more!

Simply fascinating. Amazing! Have you seen a UFO?

-Of course! I’ve ridden in them too!

That’s been a dream of mine, and probably of all my listeners out there. I’ve always dreamed about riding in a UFO, but I don’t want to get probed! Do they really do that?

-Yes, but it isn’t really what people think it is.

(Laughing) So it’s not an anal probe, that’s a relief.

-No, no, it is an anal probe.

Hmmm, maybe I’ll rethink that trip! (Laughter.)

-If the aliens want to anal probe you, they’ll anal probe you if you’re on the UFO or not.

Wow, that’s something to think about, isn’t it? We’ll be right back.

 

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Doctor Who: My Contrary View

11 Nov

November 11, 2014

This contains major spoilers for the series finale of Doctor Who, Death in Heaven. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading here.

I really enjoyed Death in Heaven. The highlight was Michelle Gomez as the Mistress. I’d love for her to somehow come back. I also think Peter Capaldi is a fantastic Doctor. In fact, though I mostly enjoyed this season, I think Capaldi has been better than the scripts he’s had to work with. I’m looking forward to next year. He should really come into his own, with a companion that will be written just for him. I liked his relationship with Clara, but it was clear she wasn’t the right companion for him.

But I had some major problems with the finale, and judging from the online reviews I’ve seen, I may be in the minority. Let’s start off with what stood out to me the most, then take the rest in no particular order.

The Bad Guys Won

Mistress and the Cybermen may not be around to savor their victory, but they achieved it nonetheless. Think about what they did: they successfully robbed every known grave on Earth. Every tomb in every cemetery is now empty. Think about the seismic shift in how people grieve/mourn/worship that must create. How will people react to their beloved ancestors not only being taken from their resting places, but then blown to atoms? There would have to be a seismic shift in most people’s world- or religion- view. What would the world’s religious leaders say? How would society react? And what becomes of all the now vacant cemeteries? Yes, everyone who dies post-invasion will continue to be buried, but in some respects, a huge chunk of the past is now moot.

cybermen-and-the-12th-doctor

The Cybermen Are No Longer Interesting

Honestly, the new series Doctor Who has never been able to make the Cybermen interesting. Even when they were introduced, they weren’t the real thing; they were parallel-universe versions. By the time Neil Gaiman got to them, all he did was manage to make them faster and sleeker. Their motivations? Backstory? Unexplored. And that’s a shame since they have such a rich backstory. Want Cybermen done right? Big Finish did it with Spare Parts. All this series finale did was finish them off. There was no indication that the Cybermen were working with Mistress, no indication that they had any motivation or agenda of their own. By all appearances, Missy was using them as she would any other weapon. The Cybermen were merely tools, same as a gun or a tank. And they are so far from their Mondas/Telos origins that they might as well have a new name. These are Cybermen in name only.

The Brigadier

Most reviews are calling this episode a touching goodbye to the Brig.

Nonsense. Seeing the Brigadier as a Cyberman was just painful. I’ve been watching Doctor Who since I was a child in the 70’s and I have seen every existing episode. To see a man who fought the Cybermen in his second appearance turned into one was just sad. Yes, it was great that he overcame his programming and saved his daughter, but when was the Brigaider ever a murderer? That laser bolt truly did come from out of the blue. You can argue that he saved the Doctor from becoming a murderer, you can debate that he was a soldier doing what soldiers do in war, you can argue that he was just doing what had to be done. But again, when did the Brigadier ever kill someone in cold blood? And you can’t blame it on his cyber-conversion. If he overcame his programming to save his daughter and not fly off into the sky with the others, then you can’t use it as an excuse here. This scene just sullied the Brigadier’s memory.

And then he became one.

And then he became one.

President Who

Seriously? On the show, it has been established that the Doctor is too well known. He wiped his memory from people’s minds and erased himself from the entire Dalek network. Behind the scenes, the producers said that the Doctor was too big and had to go back to being more mysterious . So what do they do? They make him President of Earth. Yes, on the show the Doctor protested, but the bottom line is when they wrote this episode, they wrote him into being President of Earth.

So much for mystery.

 

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