August 16, 2014
These famous people died on August 16th:
1948: Babe Ruth
1949: Margaret Mitchell
1956: Bela Lugosi
1959: Admiral “Bull” Halsey
1977: Elvis Presley
These famous people were born on August 16th:
1954: James Cameron
1962: Steve Carell
Hardly seems like a fair trade, does it?
August 11, 2014
Hello again Devoted Readers. Last time I did a Snappy Answers column, I mentioned that I get
complaints comments from my great aunt and her sewing circle, The Newkirk Needles. They can really be a feisty group of octogenarians. For example, this week they did a sew-in at their local Starbucks to protest the senior discount dropping from 20 to 15%. I now have a wonderful set of doilies with “Up with Starbucks” embroidery.
Anyway, they really got a chuckle out of the last witty retorts (as they put it) I made to the headlines from Newser.com. That site is quickly becoming my go-to source of bad journalism, quickly eclipsing The New York Post (their motto: Huh? We’re still around?). Let’s go to round two. I hope the sparky seamstresses enjoy this one as well.
“Slink off?” Like in shame? What does this robot have to be ashamed of? Maybe someone walked into its bedroom while it was busy “folding itself” under the covers?
You can find a video of this right here. The robot’s walk can be described as “shuffling,” “scuttling,” or even a good old-fashioned, simple “walk.” It is not a slink. Someone at Newser (I’m looking at you, Jenn Gidman) should have her thesaurus pried out of her hands.
Ugh. You just know this guy is moving to Brooklyn. He’ll be sitting in Starbucks all day, using their free Wi-Fi to post his weird ISIS poetry, swinging his sword in a totally non-ironic way. I bet he has an overly-groomed beard and a monocle too.
I’d rather have the weeds than the hipsters, that’s what I say. Unless “phragmites” is some new slang for hipster. I’m not sure I agree with chopping hipsters away, but I’ll volunteer to do something to get rid of them. I say we start with banning skinny jeans and plaid shirts.
August 8, 2014
There’s a lot of speculation over the hotly anticipated Batman v Superman movie. How badly will Ben Affleck suck? Is this nothing more than a Dark Knight Returns rip-off? Will Kevin Smith ever shut up about this movie?
Luckily, there’s the internet to tell us exactly what’s going on.
There you have it fans, straight from the International Business Times, via Badass Digest. With unnamed sources like that, how could this possibly be wrong?
With a scoop like that, you need a SPOILER WARNING!
For its awesome journalism, not to mention enviable math skills, I present the 2014 Milestones in Journalistic Excellitude Award to Tanya Diente! (Actually, based on that article, I’m starting to doubt if Batman will be in Batman v Superman.)