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Life and Death: August 16th

16 Aug

August 16, 2014

These famous people died on August 16th:

1948: Babe Ruth

1949: Margaret Mitchell

1956: Bela Lugosi

1959: Admiral “Bull” Halsey

1977: Elvis Presley

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These famous people were born on August 16th:

1954: James Cameron

1958: Madonna

1962: Steve Carell

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Hardly seems like a fair trade, does it?

 

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About these ads

“Look! Up in the sky…, um, down in the sewer! It’s… It’s…”

7 Aug

August 7, 2014

“Look! Up in the sky…, um, down in the sewer! It’s… It’s…”

Doodyman!

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This is real. I saw this on the side of a truck yesterday and I’ve been chuckling all day.

I can only think of one name better for a plumber and drain cleaner, Jim Doody. It’s based on the old song Jim Dandy, just change the lyrics and you have a perfect jingle.

Jim Doody to the rescue
Jim Doody to the rescue
Jim Doody to the rescue
Go, Jim Doody
Go, Jim Doody

Jim Doody on a sewer drain
so clogged it’s a pain
He’s got a lady with a broken pipe
Uh huh, no way, that ain’t right
Jim Doody to the rescue
Go, Jim Doody
Go, Jim Doody

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DEPORT JUSTIN BIEBER!

25 Jan

January 25, 2014

He may not be the biggest scourge facing the nation, but America can use a pick-me-up and nothing would make us happier than to kick this guy’s butt right out of the country. Sorry Canada, but it is time for you to take care of your own trash.

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Look, I admit that he’s not a serial killer and he’s never blown up a church, but unlike Kanye West, we can get rid of this guy. Egging houses, drag races, peeing in buckets in public, drinking, drugs, bad tattoos, etc, it all adds up to one thing- he’s a douche. And while Miley Cyrus is just as bad, we can’t deport her. So for the greater good, toss him back over the border. And while I can’t come out and advocate that we cut his vocal cords and chemically castrate him, well, accidents happen. (DISCLOSURE: The Editor’s and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride do not advocate violence, no matter how many times we advocate violence, WINK WINK  NUDGE NUDGE.) OK, so maybe some immature 14 year old girls may cry, but don’t worry, they’ll move on to One Direction soon.

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ATTENTION LINDSAY LOHAN: You haven’t dropped off my radar yet. The fact that you didn’t make this list doesn’t make you any less annoying, just less relevant. You are still number one on my list to be mopping the floors at McDonald’s, third shift, as part of your 15th rehab. (Probably in the next few months.)

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