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Always Read The Directions

17 Dec

 

December 17, 2014

I went over to my friend’s house for dinner the other day. There were four of us and we were looking forward to the meal. You see, my friend is a little bit of a foodie.

So we sat down at the dinner table and on each of our plates was a slice of frozen pizza. We each took a quick glance at each other, but hey, this must be some nouveau-food thing. As I poured myself a glass of grape soda, our host sat down and said “dig in.”

Feeling a little weird, I took a bite of the frozen slab, or I tried to. It was a block of ice. I ground down and my teeth sheared off little plasticy flecks of frozen processed cheese which fell on my shirt. But a little more pressure and snap! The frozen pizza cracked into five or six chunks of ice. One of them lodged in my windpipe and I died.

I should have paid attention to the warning on the box.

ellioscook

ellios

 

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Separated At Birth

10 Dec

December 10, 2014

Separated At Birth

Here we have Mr. Creosote, a character from  Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life. He exploded after eating a very large meal followed by a very thin mint.

Mr. Creosote

And here we have a man who was sitting in the gallery behind the Defendant on an episode of Judge Hatchett.

100_0615

100_0616

He really does look ready to explode.

 

 

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Christmas Meme And GIF Time!

6 Dec

December 6, 2014

christmas header

Just in time for Christmas, all new Christmas memes and gifs! Spread them virally to those you  love, or hate, or really don’t care about. It’ll give you a laugh.

hollis elf NAUGHTY

 

hollis elf NICE

 

hollis elf sneaky

Hollis elf 2

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