Archive | health RSS feed for this section

Imponderable #124: Journalism in Ghana

24 Feb

February 24, 2015

This article comes from a Ghana website, which may help explain quite a few things.

myst1

I could say a lot about this story, but ever since I read about the panty-stealing goblin of Zimbabwe I’ve been a bit jaded.

But regardless, the real Imponderable is about the author of the story. Here’s his bio from the site:

myst2

Daniel Russell. Reporter – Pulse. A student of Central University College. A writer and entertainment analyst, am a simple anti-social dude sometimes a freak, am a workaholic who is working hard to become a mogul and a film maker.

So I guess it doesn’t take much to write for Pulse.

The question is obvious and Imponderable.

‘Nuff said.

 

 

.

 

Snappy Answers to Stupid Newser Headlines February 2015

22 Feb

 

February 22, 2015

Hello again, devoted readers. (I’m talking to you, Randall from Austin Texas.) Time for more Snappy Answers, the blog feature which has been the subject of numerous accolades over the past months. Here’s just a sample:

“I look forward to your snappy answers blog because at least it’s better than when you try to write stories.” – BoredReader27
“Funny that you make fun of Newser when at least they have readers.” – getmoreinsurance.com
“Tolerable.” – your loving Aunt Matilda

With love like that, how can I stop?

ns1

Spoiled Monkey Named Couple’s Sole Heir. Ostracized pair say Chunmun is like son they never had.

I hate spoiled brats. Never have to work a day in their lives, get everything handed to them on a silver platter. I bet that monkey never had to earn a single banana in his life. I wonder what kind of people these are, because saying that a monkey is like the son they never had really doesn’t say much about them.

ns5

Fake Jackson Pollock? Software Lets You Know. And it goes to show how unique painter’s work is.

Don’t you hate it when this happens? You go to the store, and you see a beautiful painting in the Jackson Pollock section. You buy it, and when you get it home the neighborhood art critic tells you that it’s a fake. Happens all the time. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bough fake Jackson Pollocks at the corner deli. Thank goodness there’s an app that can spot them. (I’m pretty sure they don’t come in six-packs, but they’re on sale at Wal-Mart this week and I have to know.)

ns2Lawmaker Blames Absence On Tight Underwear. “I find it difficult to sit for any length of time,” Says Canada’s Pat Martin.

This guy must be nuts. (Cue rim shot.)

For a view of the opposite problem, read about the time Christopher Hewett Belvedered right here.)

ns3‘Toxic Poopsicle’ Closes Indiana Exit Ramp. Tanker truck dumps up to 400 gallons of raw sewage on roadway- and then it froze.

Don’t you hate it when this happens? “Sorry boss, I can’t come to work today. The highway was shut down because of frozen raw sewage. No, I haven’t been drinking. No, this isn’t the worst excuse I ever had.”

But really, I just chose this article because of “poopsicle.”

ns4Beloved Clown Found In Sex Offender’s Home. It disappeared from amusement park years ago.

Do I really need to add anything? That picture speaks for itself.

.

Did I Slip Into The Twilight Zone?

25 Jan

January 25, 2014

I was hospitalized for a short time this week. Nothing serious, but I had to stay for two nights. I was in a room with another man, who had the bed nearest the door. I was nearest the window and the curtains were drawn between us, meaning that I couldn’t see what happened on the other side of the room.

It was getting late, around 11:30. The room was dark but we were both awake watching TV. I couldn’t see the events I am about to relate, but this is what I heard.

NURSE: You can’t go in there.
OLD SOUNDING WOMAN: Why not?
NURSE: That’s a room for men. You can’t go in.
OLD SOUNDING WOMAN: Why not?
NURSE: Would you like some men walking into your room?
OLD SOUNDING WOMAN: Are they alive or dead?

There was a long pause, after which the nurse, in a slightly shaky voice, said “They’re alive.”

I heard nothing else from either of them after that, and no one came into the room, so that was the end of the story.

Did I manage to avoid the Angel of Death? Was I saved from a trip to the morgue like in the Twilight Zone? Or was there just a slightly demented old woman wandering around my wing of the hospital that night?

I slept a little less easily that evening.

tzone

.

 

 

 

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 482 other followers

%d bloggers like this: