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I’ve Seen That Hamburglar Before

9 May

May 9, 2015

McDonald’s, in an attempt to become hip and adult, unveiled the newest version of its children’s cartoon character, the Hamburglar.

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                                    Nope, nothing creepy here, move along.

Wait, a minute, I know him! I know who that is! Alert Mayor McCheese! Wake up Officer Big Mac! I am about to blow the lid off of this! Get my reward ready!

The new Hamburglar is the WWE’s own Repo Man!

Believe it or not, this man was once part of Demolition

                                Believe it or not, this man was once part of Demolition

However, Grimace remains at large.

 

Workplace Logic Update: Close The Door!

28 Apr

April 28, 2015

Last week I told you about the drama, stupidity, and more stupidity surrounding a smashed open vending machine at The Company I Am Employed by at this moment. In a nutshell: Instead of fixing a broken candy machine, my company installed a surveillance camera and fired anyone who stole a Kit Kat bar. (Although it didn’t have to be a Kit Kat bar. You could fired for stealing M+M’s too.) This went on for a week. NOTE: They left the jagged glass shards in place as, I can only assume, a theft deterrent. And why not? It isn’t like jagged glass shards pose a safety hazard to the rest of the staff. 

Well, the machine has been fixed and restocked, and the prices were, amazingly, not raised. No need to. A small bag of Doritos already costs $1.10. Raising prices even higher is something only a cable company would do. 

However, my company has taken steps to prevent future vandalism.

1- They closed the door to the pantry where the machines are located.
2- They put up this sign: “Please keep this door closed to prevent entry by non-company personnel.”

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This is not the sign. The real sign was block printed on a sheet of white paper.

So I guess they concluded that an employee or employees of another company in the building smashed and looted the machine. OK, that’s all well and good. There’s only one problem with the new closed-door policy.

The door is closed but not locked. Anyone can get in by simply… opening the door!

But by gosh! This company sure has addressed the issue! And golly, do I feel better!

Meanwhile, the door was left open most of the day, and still open when I went home.

Workplace Logic

24 Apr

April 24, 2015

They fixed the vending machine in my office yesterday.

This is a big deal.

Last Friday morning, we all arrived at the Company I Am employed by, (subject to change), and found the glass on the vending machine was smashed. Most of the bottom half was in shards on the floor, and the rest was still hanging there, shattered but still clinging together by whatever little cohesion the glass particles still had. I assumed someone tried to rock the machine to get out a stuck candy and it dropped too fast, but the consensus was the someone put their fist through it, and it did sort of look like that since a lot of the cracks seemed to radiate out from a point that was now laying on the floor.

The interesting thing is that it looked like no one had taken a single thing from the pretty much open machine.

Fast forward to Monday morning and the machine was still broken and wide open, but it had been looted over the weekend. About half the rows were empty, and most of the rest were missing most of their goods.

Untouched: Mandarin orange slices.

Fast forward to Tuesday and the machine was still broken and wide open. It was even emptier, but the orange slices were still untouched.8860e954e9ea8480e8c23238e054b395

And then yesterday, the machine was still broken but the Company had installed  a camera pointed directly at the vending machine and a memo went out that some people had been fired for stealing from the open machine.

People were fired for taking trail mix out of a broken vending machine that had been left neglected for days. OK, I admit that it was wrong to take anything from the machine, but to be fired over it?

In the five days since the glass was broken, here is what did NOT happen:

-No one put cardboard, plastic, or anything over the shattered glass. (Shattered glass is, of course, a big safety hazard.)
-No one turned the vending machine to the wall to prevent theft.

And especially bad:

-No one called the vending machine company to fix it. And believe me, the guy who showed up to restock it yesterday was major league pissed about that.

So rather than call the company to fix the machine, my Company installed a camera to catch candy thieves. There is a logic there, no doubt, but it is the kind of logic that usually only makes sense to the federal government.

 

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