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Conclusion: New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn 2014/2015

12 Jan

 

January 12, 2014

At this point I realized that I could have made a fortune selling hot chocolate. I had given Saarah my hat to wear, and now not only was my head freezing but also my hands since I had no gloves. So I was forced to break into the emergency kit I keep in the trunk. I took out a stained and battered Mets cap (only in an emergency would I wear a Mets cap) and a pair of work gloves which had just under the maximum number of holes allowed so I could keep calling them gloves. One more hole and they would technically just be a bunch of loosely connected threads.

Other items in my emergency kit: Flashlight with dead batteries and a funnel.

Thus fortified, we waited until 9:15 and briskly walked back to the “party,” which was now threatening to maybe, possibly, start.

The DJ equipment was set up but the only music was coming from a CD player someone put on a chair next to the DJ equipment. The carousel had still not opened and showed no indications of opening, despite the icicle-laden folks hoping in vain to get in out of the cold. However, the tent was set up and it looked like something was happening.

And it was! Yes!

Two grumpy volunteers were handing out party favors from a pair of insanely small boxes. I was worried that even this tiny crowd may not all get favors so I checked- no other boxes stashed under the table and nothing stashed in the barricaded area with the CD player. I did a quick count- about 30 people on line, about 15 huddled and shivering near the carousel, and another 20 to 30 gathering around the music area where something was clearly and absolutely not going to happen anytime soon. But don’t worry, the volunteers were strictly rationing the party supplies. Each would-be reveler got their choice of either a party hat or a noisemaker. One only. And which one you got was not up to you, it was up whichever volunteer handed you something first. So if you brought your own party hat you may wind with another party hat despite only having one head. (And no party.)

Saarah and I each got hats, which was what we wanted. We took one last loop around the place to make sure we weren’t missing anything, and believe me, we had already had the full Coney Island party experience.

Our ball drop experience ended the same way the last one I went to did, so many years ago back in the 80’s, in the words of Bobby Brown from My Prerogative, “I made this money, you didn’t. Right Ted? We outta here.” So we left. (See Part 1)

There was a steady stream of cars leaving the parking lot with us.

Coney Island, I am very disappointed in you.

 

The End

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Fonzie Eats a Can of Ravioli Over a Hot Plate. (Christmas Classic)

25 Dec

 

December 25, 2014

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Here we are, Christmas Day, and I’ve saved the best for last!

From December 24, 2010

I can’t let the holiday go by without everyone’s favorite 30 year-old teenager, the Fonz, making an appearance. You can have your Frosty and your Rudolph, this is my TV yuletide.

This is a classic piece of Christmastime must-see television around my house. (I’m sure that says a lot about my house. We also love Godzilla at Thanksgiving. It’s a bit hard to fit in the oven but trust me, it tastes delicious.)  In this clip from the early days of Happy Days, everyone is getting ready for Christmas, except poor Fonzie, who has nowhere to go. This was before Fonzie moved in above the Cunningham’s and he was going to spend a lonely holiday in his garage. Watch as The Fonz sits on a greasy toolbox, heats up a can of ravioli on a hot plate, and sets out a pathetic little holiday card for company. Were the Aloha Pussycats out-of-town? Where was Paula Petralunga? And what about the Hooper triplets, Pinky Tuscadero, or a dozen loose cheerleaders? Ponder that as you watch with someone you love.

Fun With Teh Internets: CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

23 Dec

December 23, 22014

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Allan Keyes brings us the next Christmas Classic. What goes together better than Santa, kids, and hysterical crying?

From December 17, 2012

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He sees you when you’re sleeping…..he’s kinda creepy actually.

Bringing your children to see Santa Claus is a time-honored tradition. The kids wait with breathless anticipation for the chance to rattle off all the toys they want Santy to bring them : A pony, a football, a Red Ryder BB Gun, a dollie, some Dockers, an Ipad, a crossbow, Knicks season tickets, a subscription to  The Economist, and the complete Sanford and Son on Blu-Ray (these are some interesting kids!)

What can be more American than that? How heartwarming, how heartstring-tugging. How cute! So of course, since I’m a dirtbag, we’re going in the total opposite direction. BAZINGA!

Fun With Teh Internets:  CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

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Mom, forgive me but I HAVE to comment here. This poor child is not only being scarred for life, but he looks an awful lot like Don Knotts:

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She’s crying because this is a pathetic attempt at being a Santa. HINT: Just because you may have a beard already doesn’t excuse you from wearing a REAL FAKE beard. And put on the red suit also will ya? God, put a little effort into it man

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Looks like SOMEONE is getting a visit from the ghost of Christmas future! (PS- A Christmas Carol absolutely sucks, unless it’s the Mr. Magoo version, or Captain Picard is starring in it)

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