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The Tepid Zombie’s 2014 Year In Review

27 Dec

December 27, 2014

Unbelievably, this is the first appearance of the Tepid Zombie in 2014. Before that, he’d been a pretty constant presence, either reviewing odd things on Netflix, making zombie-complaints about the news, or just generally talking about eating brains. (You can find his old posts here.) For those new to the Tepid zombie, this is a look at what this blog would (or maybe I should say “will”) look like after the zombie apocalypse when this blog will be written by a zombie. He’s an accountant, by the way, and kind of lazy.

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Fonzie Eats a Can of Ravioli Over a Hot Plate. (Christmas Classic)

25 Dec

 

December 25, 2014

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Here we are, Christmas Day, and I’ve saved the best for last!

From December 24, 2010

I can’t let the holiday go by without everyone’s favorite 30 year-old teenager, the Fonz, making an appearance. You can have your Frosty and your Rudolph, this is my TV yuletide.

This is a classic piece of Christmastime must-see television around my house. (I’m sure that says a lot about my house. We also love Godzilla at Thanksgiving. It’s a bit hard to fit in the oven but trust me, it tastes delicious.)  In this clip from the early days of Happy Days, everyone is getting ready for Christmas, except poor Fonzie, who has nowhere to go. This was before Fonzie moved in above the Cunningham’s and he was going to spend a lonely holiday in his garage. Watch as The Fonz sits on a greasy toolbox, heats up a can of ravioli on a hot plate, and sets out a pathetic little holiday card for company. Were the Aloha Pussycats out-of-town? Where was Paula Petralunga? And what about the Hooper triplets, Pinky Tuscadero, or a dozen loose cheerleaders? Ponder that as you watch with someone you love.

“Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year” by Tiny Tim (I’m not making this up)

24 Dec

December 24, 2014

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I’m sorry to break news like this to all the world’s kiddies on Christmas Eve. You’re all snug in your beds, waiting for Old Saint Nick to leave presents under your trees, but I have to let you know, Santa may not make it to your house this year.

From December 25, 2010

Don’t hate me. This was suggested by oft-time commenter, the full-time Allan Keyes.

Don’t know who Tiny Tim was? This isn’t the “God bless us, everyone” kid. This is the banjo-playing freak show who was popular in the 1960’s and 70’s. Popular for what you ask? I don’t know. He was one of those people whom someone one day called a celebrity and no one argued. I’d compare him to Paris Hilton but I don’t like to speak ill of the dead.

So, with apologies, here is “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year.”

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