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Pro Wrestling Smackaround! Grudge Match!

2 Jul

July 2, 2015

And here we go! World Wrestling Congress action is coming to you live tonight from the General Custer High School auditorium in Auxvasse, Missouri! We have a sold out crowd of 983! The whole town is here!

They haven’t had a crowd like this since the general store burned down.

That’s right! I’m Chuck McGonagall and with me as always is my partner, Luscious Lenny Brown.

And I love you all! Tonight’s show is brought to you by The Egg Hutch on Route 3. Come on in for some eggs!

I had one this morning, It was pretty good. Well fans, we have some awesome action tonight. In our main event, General Duke Rightwing is taking on The Conscientious Dissenter. Duke doesn’t take too kindly to The Dissenter’s new Canadian allegiance.

That’s right Chuck. There’s no love lost there. If General Rightwing wins, he’s going to make The Dissenter enlist in the army.

Wow! Also on the card is a Missouri Brawl Battle. 13 men enter the ring at the same time. The first one to stack the others in a human pyramid and climb to the top and grab the flag hanging above the center of the ring wins.

Oooh! I’ve never seen that before!

You get all the best action in the WWC! Some of our biggest stars are already entered. Big Little Smalls and Mr. Graceful are itching to go, and I heard a rumor that WWC Interstate Champion David Letterman Junior is in the arena.

Whoa!

We’ll also see tag team action with Bip and Bop taking on The Filipino Coal Miners, and Bucky “The Rich Man’s Mojo” Mathers will team with La Ardila against Robot 1 and Robot 4.

I can’t wait! Let’s go to the ring, our first match is about to begin. It’s a rematch from last week’s pay per view, Stairway to Amazing. Surfer Boy is taking on Mr. Surfing in a Catch the Wave match. I hope you have your towel ready Chuck! I don’t even know what that means!

wwc surfing

Before I Hit Delete And Empty The Trash, Let’s Read Some Spam!

26 Jun

June 26, 2015

Here are some of my favorite recent spam comments. I usually don’t bother looking because, quite frankly, I have all the penis pills I’ll ever need. UH, I MEAN “I DON’T NEED ANY PENIS PILLS!” Yeah, that’s what I meant. All man here.

Anyway, there were a few messages that stood out. I present them here for the first and only time, before I hit delete and send these to the cyber-hell to which they belong. They are complete and unedited. Any typos in the comments are from the original spams, not my usual mistypes.

And yeah, forget about that penis pills typo. Sorry about that. I swear I only tried them once I don’t need them.

spam1

This one was in response to Allan Keyes’ review of Batman: A Death in the Family:

 What’s up everyone, it’s my first visit at this web site, and post is actually fruitful in favor of me, keep up posting these types of content.

Thanks! There’s plenty of these types of content to come. And speaking of Allan Keyes, he’s fruitful in favor of you too.

 

Here’s one that was sent to a post I wrote about my Dad ranting about the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade:

Mc – Guire is not a fan of the new lasers and prefers to stick with the tried and true CO2 version. s procedures, it is easy to afford to change your life around for the better. t one single procedure that men are seeking to have done either, Dr.

Yes! This man gets it! That is exactly what I was going for. My Dad wasn’t a fan of those new lasers either, he wasn’t about to let Macy’s get away with it, whatever it might have been. And though I may consistently and recklessly post medical advice all the time, I am not a doctor. You probably shouldn’t listen to me about those lasers.

 

One of my posts about Brighton Beach inspired this reaction:

Her $250 cash advance had cost her $187 and she or he still owed $225 principal to the second cash advance company as well as $250 plus interest to the first company Holley Dimeglio but in the years ahead until close the fund, we’re likely to try not to have ourselves in the position where every 3 months, unless we inform you things close, now we will tell we’re closed.

Ugh! I hate Common Core math! So let’s see, if she had a cash advance of $250 and it cost $187, that leaves $83. Take out taxes and fees, she’s got about $37 left. She still owes, uh, and there’s interest, every 3 months… The heck with it. Let Holley Dimeglio figure it out herself. She needs a part-time job or something.

 

This was in answer to my review of a Doctor Who episode:

Ӎy favorite ɑre the skull аnd cross bones tank fօr my dog. When talking about clothing, ɦere arе some phrases ƴoս сan use:. Thesе clothes dryers ѡill not send your indoor air outdoors.

It’s a good thing I read this before my vacation. That phrase really did come in handy in San Juan.
PEDDLER: Would you like to buy this handmade drum?
ME: These clothes dryers will not send your indoor air outdoors.
PEDDLER: You know we speak English in Puerto Rico, right?

 

This came in to my blog about Jimmy Olsen comic book covers:

I today wear heels 5 times per week and I’ve never ever thought more at home.

So never mind the thinking cap, it’s the thinking shoe we should be trying out. I could stand to do some more thinking at home.

 

Well, that’s it for tonight. I’ve been feeling a little slow, so I’m going to try those thinking heels, maybe they can help me solve that Common Core math problem a few comments back.

Anyone know where I can get size 13 men’s pumps?

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