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Uncle Lou

13 Apr

April 13, 2014

uncle lou

If you are looking for proof that there are too many channels and not enough good programs, this is it.

I was up around 1:30 this morning and was just flipping around looking for something to watch when I came across a show on REELZ, a network that specializes in obscurity. The show was called The Capones and it is a reality show that focuses on a family of stereotypical mafia-style Italians named Capone. Are they related to Al Capone? Beats me. I only watched ten minutes, enough to satisfy my curiosity. And what whet my curiosity? This description did.

louiewooie

“Uncle Lou believes he has the clap.”

Don’t you love this golden age of television? Back when I Love Lucy was on the air, Ricky and Lucy had to sleep in separate beds and they could not say the word “pregnant.” And now, decades, later, here is Uncle Lou catching “the clap.” Ah, progress, you truly are a bitch.

Anyway, I never did find out if Lou has “the clap.” I do know that he has ridiculously dyed eyebrows and mustache. In the scene I saw, Lou confronted one of his relatives, who seemed to be half drunk, about the continued employment in their restaurant of another relative, who seemed to be fully asleep, and was, right next to the bar. Then Lou told her that she seemed to be depressed and told her to see a psychic. Is she a real psychic? Yeah, replied “she has the Shining or something.”

At that point I grabbed my cell phone, snapped a few pics, and changed the channel.

Is this the face of a man with “the clap?” Decide for yourself, but I think that “the clap” is the least of his problems.

And I also believe he has “the clap.”

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In Medias Res

6 Apr

April 6, 2013

I hope this caught your attention!

I hope this caught your attention!

As usual, that image has nothing to do with any upcoming posts. Sorry, Santos fans.

The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride are pretty busy these days, despite only putting out one or two posts a week lately. (We are lazy too.) We are in the midst of not one but two continuing projects. Hollywood Russell will return early this week. We had hoped to have it at the end of last week, but last minute changes to the end of the tale meant changing something in part three, which was ready to go until the changes popped up. But it is done and Hollywood Russell’s stay at the lonely hotel is coming to an end. (And likely so is his relationship with Stella as well.)

Allan Keyes is also stalled in the middle of his March Madness brackets. (Can’t trust freelancers!) The shame is he is up to the best part, the best sitcom in the whole bunch. I won’t spoil it, but Keyes better get back to the keyboard soon or we’ll revoke his healthcare benefits and make him sign up for Obamacare. That’ll show him.

Also in the works is the next Imponderable about a man who really, really loves cars. The Dukes loved the General Lee and Michael Knight loved KITT, but none of them come close to this guy. He gives Love Bug a whole new meaning.

I’ve got a project that will show up down the line. I’m opening back up the archives and, courtesy of the internet, celebrating the various looks and styles of this blog through the years. Does anyone remember the old rocket logo? Or the white font on black background? It’ll be a blast from the past.

There is also more fodder coming up: I’ll be attending a chili cook-off where none other than Allan Keyes is a judge, and the very next day, The Chiller Theater Convention April 2014!

All this, I have an appointment with Abe Vigoda, and who knows what else, coming soon at bmj2k.com.

 

 

He Loves The Honeymooners

5 Apr

April 5, 2014

A little over three years ago, on January 11th, 2011, I wrote a blog around this letter, which appeared in the New York Daily News.

kramdenmania

Frankly, I felt sorry for the guy, he was 63 after all. I didn’t even imply that he might have gone a little senile.

I fail to see the problem here. They aired The Honeymooners at one in the afternoon on a day when most people are home and sleep late. Should channel 11 have shown it at one in the morning and forced an old man to stay up to the wee hours of the night? Did he really want to be up, at age 63, watching TV at 4 am? Is this an overreaction, or can someone explain this to me? And while you’re at it, explain to me why this guy felt the need to write to the newspaper about it.

Now flash back to  the present. I’ve pretty much given up on The Daily News. Never a bastion of journalism, they’ve resorted to doing little more than calling out random people as jerks on their front page. In the three years since that letter appeared, it is fair to say that I’ve seen The Voice of the People less than a few dozen times. So I’ll leave it to you to calculate the odds that earlier this week I should run across this letter:

the honey mooner

Three years later, same guy! Still loves The Honeymooners, in fact moved so deeply by it that he had to let the world know with his letter. I can only imagine the orgasmic letters he sends to the station that actually airs the show. But my favorite part of the letter? “I even have my lovely grandchildren imitate them.”

“Grandpa, I’m hungry. Can we eat now?”
“Not until you do the “can it core a apple” skit!”
“Grandpaaaaa!”
“Bang! Zoom! To the moon, Timmy!”

How many letters did he send in that I missed over the years? How many love letters has he sent Audrey “Alice Kramden” Meadows? And how many times has he bitten someone’s hand when they tried to change the channel?

 

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