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I Even Found The Count on eBay!

18 Jan

January 18, 2015

Ebay, you gotta love it. Want to find a broken video game? They’ve got it. The last card you need to complete your Dukes of Hazzard trading card set? It’s there. A rare Etruscan nose snood? Oh, sure. And then there’s this:

Dracula Gilbert listing

Hey look at that! A Dracula figure. Sweet.

Wait, is that Dracula? Let’s take a closer look.

Dracula Gilbert

That’s not Dracula, that’s Gilbert Gottfried!

Gilbert by two

Dracula Gottfried! This is so cool! I always wanted a Count Gilbert figure ever since he made his first appearance many years ago on the Howard Stern Show!

Dracula Gottfried

 

 

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Your Daily Fortune for January 15th, 2015

15 Jan

January 15, 2015

YOUR DAILY FORTUNE™ FOR JANUARY 15th, 2015 WILL BE PREDICTED BY THE FORTUNEBOT 5000™.

Hello. I am the Fortunebot 5000™. I am calculating your Daily Fortune™ based on over 6 million variables, including your past history, the weather on the day you were born, and the 2016 Seattle Mariners spring training schedule.

Your Daily Fortune™ will be ready shortly.

While you wait, have you considered that this may be a good time to try new Carter’s Toothpaste™? Carter’s Toothpaste™ now has  21% more fluoride. Carter’s Toothpaste™ is a proud sponsor of Your Daily Fortune™. Carter’s Toothpaste™. Proudly carcinogen-free since 2006.

Your Daily Fortune™ is now ready.

Your teeth may be in danger of cavities. Please see your dentist immediately.

 

 

 

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Conclusion: New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn 2014/2015

12 Jan

 

January 12, 2014

At this point I realized that I could have made a fortune selling hot chocolate. I had given Saarah my hat to wear, and now not only was my head freezing but also my hands since I had no gloves. So I was forced to break into the emergency kit I keep in the trunk. I took out a stained and battered Mets cap (only in an emergency would I wear a Mets cap) and a pair of work gloves which had just under the maximum number of holes allowed so I could keep calling them gloves. One more hole and they would technically just be a bunch of loosely connected threads.

Other items in my emergency kit: Flashlight with dead batteries and a funnel.

Thus fortified, we waited until 9:15 and briskly walked back to the “party,” which was now threatening to maybe, possibly, start.

The DJ equipment was set up but the only music was coming from a CD player someone put on a chair next to the DJ equipment. The carousel had still not opened and showed no indications of opening, despite the icicle-laden folks hoping in vain to get in out of the cold. However, the tent was set up and it looked like something was happening.

And it was! Yes!

Two grumpy volunteers were handing out party favors from a pair of insanely small boxes. I was worried that even this tiny crowd may not all get favors so I checked- no other boxes stashed under the table and nothing stashed in the barricaded area with the CD player. I did a quick count- about 30 people on line, about 15 huddled and shivering near the carousel, and another 20 to 30 gathering around the music area where something was clearly and absolutely not going to happen anytime soon. But don’t worry, the volunteers were strictly rationing the party supplies. Each would-be reveler got their choice of either a party hat or a noisemaker. One only. And which one you got was not up to you, it was up whichever volunteer handed you something first. So if you brought your own party hat you may wind with another party hat despite only having one head. (And no party.)

Saarah and I each got hats, which was what we wanted. We took one last loop around the place to make sure we weren’t missing anything, and believe me, we had already had the full Coney Island party experience.

Our ball drop experience ended the same way the last one I went to did, so many years ago back in the 80’s, in the words of Bobby Brown from My Prerogative, “I made this money, you didn’t. Right Ted? We outta here.” So we left. (See Part 1)

There was a steady stream of cars leaving the parking lot with us.

Coney Island, I am very disappointed in you.

 

The End

The_Partys_Over_Title

 

 

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