Now THIS Guy Is Cool!

21 Jan


You ask most Americans what they think of when you say the word “cool”? A fair majority would probably say this guy:                     

Mr. Blog says: There were better pictures Allan Keyes could have used, but none as funny. Why the heck is The Fonz making love to his thumb?

Mr. Blog says: There were better pictures Allan Keyes could have used, but none as funny. Why the heck is The Fonz making love to his thumb?

Yeah, the middle aged, unthreatening greaseball from Happy Days.  As if eating ravioli out of a can alone in a garage at Christmas could ever be cool.

Other answers abound of course, ranging from James Dean to 57’ Chevys to tattoos to Dr. J, etc.


You know who is cool? THIS GUY:


He was nicknamed Mad Jack by his men during the Second World War.

After coming face to face with Lieutenant Colonel John Churchill, the Germans probably had a similar, if less affectionate, moniker for the eccentric officer.

Rather than wield a sub-machine gun in battle, the commando leader inspired his comrades by storming beaches armed with a bow and arrow and two-handed sword, dressed in a kilt and playing a set of bagpipes



They had me at “Mad Jack”.  Lets get this straight right now: THIS IS A MAN WHO STORMED NAZI BEACHES WITH A BOW AND ARROW, WHILE IN SCOTTISH REGALIA.




He enhanced his reputation by capturing 42 German prisoners with only his broadsword and later escaping from one of the most daunting Nazi jails before the end of the war.



For most men, this would be their valedictory, the stuff of their legend. For John Churchill, CAPTURING 42 GERMANS WITH ONLY A SWORD was merely a “reputation enhancer” And the escaping from prison? That’s a freaking afterthought, as if it was a matter of course for him. Which it most probably was.

How the eff do you capture 42 guys with a sword? Even if they were members of the Pussywillows instead of the Panzers, that’s a daunting task. Folks, the alpha-maleness is so strong in this one, even just through this article, I’m popping a small beta-male submission boner.

You know what this guy reminds me of? This scene from Star Wars:

Except Mad Jack here was fighting REAL stormtroopers, and unlike Han Solo, he sealed the deal.  What was it about WW2 that unleashed some of the most bad-assed men ever seen? This guy and my other favorite, Simo Häyhä who sniped out over 500 (!!!!) Russians during the war.

Killing Nazis with a bow and arrow…………………….AWESOME!


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4 Responses to “Now THIS Guy Is Cool!”

  1. T E Stazyk January 21, 2013 at 2:32 am #

    I agree–that is a new standard of cool. I think I read somewhere that he once lost his fingernails to a bad tempered Nazi interrogator. I didn’t know he escaped from Stalag Luft III. Have you read about (or seen the movie) The Great Escape? If you’ve only seen the movie, read the book by Paul Brickhill who was actually there, to find out what really happened. Then read this book to find out what really, really happened: Good stuff!

  2. zathra January 21, 2013 at 3:15 am #

    The slogan ” Don’t Mess With Texas ” has now been replaced by ” Don’t Mess With Scotland “. This guy would’ve probably made King Leonidas ( ” 300 ” ) look like a little girly man. ;)

    • allenkeyes January 21, 2013 at 10:53 am #

      Yeah, I thought of Leonidas also….and then laughed. I bet this guy would crack Leonidas out :) And T.E. – yes, I’m going to check out that book, thanks! I may do something on Hayha down the road – this one guy basically held Stalin’s army at bay for a time.

      • zathra January 21, 2013 at 2:17 pm #


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