June 15, 2012
The Imponderable has turned 50. That in itself is Imponderable. The series began with a story about a woman who suddenly developed a British accent after dental surgery and was quickly followed up by an assault with an animal carcass and Vatican relics found in a trailer home in middle America. No less than three people were flattened by steamrollers and from London, a lawyer invoked self-defense in a case of public urination. We saw bad puns by lawyers at their clients’ expense, a boy who loved his toilet, and Japanese scientists who developed a way to scan people’s butts.
It has been interesting to say the least. So there had to be something special for #50 and as always, the news media came through.
Wow. “We have that bathroom problem again.” Is nothing safe any more?
“Problem”? This is more than a mere “problem.” Guy’s junk got scalded when a jet of steam shot out the urinal he was using. Ouch! Talk about getting hurt right where you live. I can’t imagine the Arby’s plumbing nightmare that caused that guy’s nightmare with his plumbing. How could it the restaurant’s pipes be that screwed up?
Clearly this guy is in line for a huge settlement, but would you want to go through what he did for a few thousand dollars? Although I have no clue what his “financial losses” might have been, unless he was a porno actor, the guy is definitely entitled to a boatload of cash.
He is also putting a price tag on the value of sex with his wife. That is either an insult or a compliment to her, I am not sure which.
How could a jet pf steam shoot out of a urinal and scald a man’s junk?
The question is Imponderable.
It’s part of an insidious secret plot to sterilize people / render men impotent with chemically laden – water spraying backwards from urinals. Wear a cup when you use the men’s restroom, guys.
This is on a par with giving disease – contaminated blankets to Native Americans in the plains & the American SW.
How could a jet pf steam shoot out of a urinal and scald a man’s junk?
Yes, that is the Imponderable. There are only two parts of a piss pot hooked up to plumbing–the water, which is always cold, and the drain, which, mercifully flows in the opposite direction. The only way steam could come out of the pipe is if it is hooked up to a boiler, and I doubt if they have one at Arby’s. And, I’m no plumber, but I don’t think that if a cold water line and a boiler fed the same outlet that you would ever get just steam. And when was the last time you saw a jet of steam come from a hot water tank?
Next, even if the urinal dispensed a shot of steam, how could the guy’s genitals, which I am assuming refers to the whole package be scalded to the point of non-functionality. How close was he standing and why did he have everything hanging out? And if you were peeing and the urinal suddenly started hissing, wouldn’t you step back?
It was part of this guy’s nefarious plot to sue a major fast – food chain. He probably had a contact w / a background in plumbing on the inside.
This is also another reason to avoid use of public restrooms unless ABSOLUTELY, unavoidably neccesary.
True. I have a few unrepeatable public bathroom stories.
I avoided such places even before spending time w / my EXTREMELY germophobic uncle & cousin. At least when we go out in public, I know that I can depend on them for a quick spritz of hand sanitizer.
No bird flu or H1N1 is going to get into MY system !
His lawyer probably has a checklist:
Hot coffee? Been done.
Slip in entryway? Been done.
Scald dick in urinal? Worth a shot.
It was either that or ” walk into ‘ walk – in ‘ freezer, strip down, freeze package against chilled meat, litigate for physical & emotional trauma “.
Oh, to be on that jury…
Other choice : Go into ‘ walk – in ‘ freezer, strip down, stick naked junk to frozen meat, sue for freezer burn & emotional trauma.
Makes you wonder where Arby’s gets it’s Horsey Sauce From…OH!
Oh no you didn’t!
Yeah, but it isn’t his crotch with third degree burns.